The sun rose today,
But the mood stayed put.
Deep in the shadows of longing,
Of grieving what isn’t here,
Grieving what hasn’t been,
What may never be,
What isn’t coming,
What isn’t right here.
Loss,
Feeling deeply into
The spaces we normally
Fill with activity.
Feeling deeper into
Our shared vulnerabilities,
Humans
Desiring connection,
To be seen,
To be heard.
We crave what we
Think we don’t/can’t have.
Love.
Ability to be loved
In all of this.
The stories we tell
Ourselves aren’t always true.
They are fables,
Myths,
Fairy tales.
Who will rescue us?
Who will save us?
These are stories
We’ve been told,
It’s no wonder
We have believed them.
It’s no wonder
We want them to be true.
Want someone,
Something to rescue us.
To save us from
This doomful,
Dismal place.
We may be dismayed
Right now,
Feel the heaviness,
The weightedness
On our chest,
On our heart.
Can we trust what we feel?
Even if it feels so uncertain?
Changing day by day,
Mood fluctuations,
Riding these waves,
Within and without.
We can’t expect
Someone to know
What we are feeling,
Can’t expect someone
To fix it for us.
We may be searching
Still,
Even more now,
Outside of us,
To find it.
To feel something else
Than what is present.
Some distraction.
And that’s okay.
It’s so human.
So natural,
To want to cling
To something else.
The sun will set again,
And rise on a new day,
Moods may continue
To fluctuate each day.
New points and edges
To grow into,
Not easy,
Or always comfortable.
Breathe,
And know how loved
You are.
Right now.
In your churning,
In your yearning,
In your questioning heart.
In your clamoring mind.
Hold these parts of you,
Up to the light of day,
Out of the darkness
Of shame,
And know how
Welcomed they are,
In it all,
All things are welcomed.
Welcome yourself
Home,
To these parts too.
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