This article is written in partnership with Beducated—they’re dedicated to increasing sexual happiness with mindfulness, communication, and hands-on techniques. We’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.

Contrary to popular belief, having a satisfying sex life in a long term relationship isn’t just a case of coital compatibility and happen-to-be-healthy libidos.

As our mantra at Beducated states, sexual happiness is trainable—and that includes sexual communication, verbal, and non-verbal. Expressing yourself, body language, and sensual touch are invaluable resources.  

But, if communication was that easy, we’d all be satisfied, right? 

One study found that “passion and sexual satisfaction typically diminish in longer-term relationships.” However, this decline is not inevitable. Once you open up the door to sexual communication, people report being more satisfied with their sex lives, and relationships overall. 

So, if you’ve found yourself stuck at home with your long term partner and your sex life is a bit “meh,” or you’re at your wit’s end with boredom, take this time to be reinspired. With a dash of communication and curiosity (you’re reading this aren’t you!) you can enjoy great sex for years to come (pun very much intended). 

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We can ultimately revive the passion in our long term relationships and learn how to heal through pleasure with Tantric inspired practices. This is especially essential during periods of high stress or extreme boredom. 

Many of us feel fear around discussing sex openly and honestly and can find it hard to express our full sexual selves in the bedroom. 

Although we may not speak as openly about sex as we should, you’d be surprised that more of us feel this way than we realize!

One way to release that fear is through holistic genital massage. In addition to physical release, this type of touch communication also aims to heal the emotional blockages related to sexuality and can enhance your physical connection with yourself and your partner.

Many of us store shame and negativity in our genitals without even knowing it and Tantric massage can help you let go of it and put you on the right path to pleasure and passion. And the beauty of it is that you can also practice solo for more self-compassion and intimate healing! 

When it comes to training yourself to become better at sexual communication with a partner, Beducated offers some verbal, physical, and emotional ideas to get you going. 

Verbal Communication: Introducing Adult Sex Education

Bringing up sex in a conversation may not be as easy as it sounds. Particularly if you’ve been with your partner for a long time and it’s not something that comes naturally. 

The idea is to create a curious and judgment-free zone. Somewhere safe that you can both be open to suggestions and avoid criticisms. Make it clear that, even if you’ve been together for a while, you’re both still on a journey of discovery and this is a time to explore each other more deeply.

One way of doing this is by introducing the Beducated courses as something to try together. As you are both learning something new, it can be less daunting and even enhance your intimacy as open-minded learners.

To start, pick a course each. From sensual massage to BDSM, this decision about what interests may give you some sexual insight and even spark some initial ideas for the bedroom. 

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Physical communication: Non-Goal Oriented Touch

You may think that good sex is all about whether someone orgasms? In this experiment of communicating and pleasure healing, Beducated suggests non-goal oriented pleasure. 

Tantric massage of the vulva or penis builds up and spreads orgasmic pleasure throughout the body using various techniques—without a climax as resolution. 

Watch follow-along videos to try this out >>

This practice allows you to understand what pleasure works for your partner and what doesn’t. It encourages you to watch their body language and signs. Are they expressing tension in their eyes, face, and neck or does it look like they’re enjoying what you’re doing?

Non-verbal communication can be as subtle as bodily tension so you have to pay attention to your partner freezing up. Afraid to get it wrong? Make it more explicit by asking your partner to squeeze or double-tap your hand when it doesn’t feel so good. 

Be caring and empathic, and ask how they’re feeling if something is not clear. Whatever you do, do it with a selfless attitude. 

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Emotional Communication: Post-Pleasure Healing

After any intimate act, whether that be kissing, cuddling, massage, or sex, there is a lot of oxytocin (the bonding hormone) flowing through the body. This allows the heart to be more open to communication.

Make sure you make this time with your partner to continue to be intimate and curious about your pleasure. Hold each other in stillness and tranquility, and you can choose to cup hearts and genitals to feel more intimately connected. In Tantric massage, this is essential for healing from any emotions that may have arisen during the practice. 

When you are ready you can discuss what you experienced, honestly in a non-judgemental space. Share what you liked, what didn’t like and what you’d like to try next time…building a sexual repertoire for your relationship.

The beauty of these practices is that you can learn something new every time. A new way of pleasure touching, a new way of communicating and a new experience of healing! All amazing tools for enhancing your sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Ready to expand your sexual repertoire? Get the all-access pass >>