Where did she go?

That sweet two-year-old girl? Long blonde hair, softly waved and slightly messy from the east blowing winds.

Sitting on the small wood porch in the fenced backyard of a tiny row house. Ice cream in her left hand, chocolate covering mostly eaten off first, allowing time for the sun to melt thin rivers of vanilla down her bare chest and over her soft, white fingers.

She didn’t care. Ice cream was meant to be eaten, covering first, then bites of the vanilla sweetness.

Where did she go?

No worries then. Life was simple.

Then life got hard as expected and needed. Learn, do, and make mistakes. Learn from the mistakes. Try again. Just like babies realize they can roll over, crawl, and then stand. They will fall, get up, and walk a few steps, fall, and repeat.

Teenage years bring raging hormones, first kisses, dates, no dates, Saturday evenings alone, or with friends or a date.

Opportunities to explore, experiment, or shake our heads.

Where did she go? 

When do we realize, if we ever do, our true path? Our passion, our calling, our dharma? Does it change with time, morphed into shapes carved by us, or torn and shattered by our parents, relatives, teachers, and friends?

We each have a true calling, a passion, and our dharma. It may change, perhaps slightly, to mesh with time and aging. The key, though (and this is how both maitri and one’s calling must weave a tapestry together), is that it belongs to us. Not to our parents, nor our teachers.

How many will grow up, perhaps quite successful in the eyes of others, carrying out the calling of their elders? Miserable in their lives, maybe without knowing why.

We need to reach deep inside our being and unearth what makes us tick, what wakes us up in the morning, what pulls on our heartstrings and whispers in our ears.

As we learn to love ourselves with all our scars, creative chaos, and tingling passion, we learn to be brave and set forth on our mission.

It is said:

“It is better to do one’s dharma poorly, then to do well the purpose of others.” ~ Bhagavad Gita

That two-year-old girl is still there. From a child creating stories and reading to a 13-year-old writing poetry, then to writing essays, journaling, and medically-related material to full circle. Writing is her passion, her dharma, her truth.

She’s still here.

May you listen to your heart, to your gut, to the whispers, and love yourself enough to follow your true calling.

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I recommend Stephen Cope’s The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling.

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