The loss and hurt when someone dies is so significant and life changing that many never recover. I have lost two close family members this year and grief has been overwhelming.

With loss, many go through life, never the same, and the loss, or missing piece remains void in the heart forever.
Ironic how dying according to the Bible is gain, but to the living it is such a loss.

Why is that ? We miss how the person enriched our life, we grieve over what could have been, what was, what we wanted for that person yet will never get..we grieve over the life we had with that person who was part of our identity and now no longer…. grief… such a strong emotion.

Days will never be same, holidays, songs, even smells trigger the emotion of loss.

Now I want to talk about how love plays into this. ….. Love is the reason we grieve. The love they gave, the love we shared….LOVE….love is a strong emotion too.

Sooooo

When I die, please use grief to share the love.

There will be love and loss in your heart in so much abundance you will not know what to do with it, but grieve. When you are grieving please try your best to channel the love you have or had for me into something positive.

So in my memory and with all the love I have for you and you me, share, share that love.

When you need that hug from me, give a hug to someone

When you want to talk to me, call someone up that needs a friend

When you hear my favorite song or yours or ours together.. don’t grieve,  -dance. Close your eyes and just dance, if you have someone near by dance with them.

When I come to mind I pray you think of love, I pray that though grief may engulf the mind, let love replace it and smile. Smile at the one who is lonely, smile at the cashier who is overwhelmed, smile at your waitress or waiter – smile at the stranger ….. just smile. I ask that you give love away in your smile.

When the wind blows and you think of me don’t cry, run, or walk for your health so that my memory will be used for good and you will be caring for your body and not ruining it with oppressing grief and sadness or other unhealthy coping.  I pray you use your grief to benefit your well being and health…. remember how I wanted you healthy- that was my love for you.

When you see the ocean and think of me,  let the wind blow through your hair, feel the sand, the salt, the water on your feet and the warmth of the sunshine on your skin….. be thankful.  Allow gratitude to fill you- for all you have had, for what you have right now, this experience, this warmth this tranquil place that I loved, enjoy the moment.
I have learned just how brief life is so while here my goal is to make the best of it. How can we do that? Meditate on what is to come, what joys, what hope and life you still have left to live. What is yet to come and the love that lives in you will carry you through, but please with all this love in death, my love….. please, please, please give it away.