Sexual spirituality—reclaiming your virginity.

I have never had a one-night stand, but I’ve definitely given my sexual power away.

I am happy to now be able to say, with conviction, that I have reclaimed my body and soul—and my virginity. It feels incredible.

After spending way too much time in toxic, painful, and empty relationships, I have learned that the power I need to be safe, happy, and content ultimately lives inside me.

This power is nothing to take lightly and absolutely nothing you should give away to anyone unless you are certain that they are worthy.

However, knowing if someone is worthy takes time. In this time, you need to detox and cleanse from all the past energies that you have shared your body with. Every person you have been intimate with has passed along their energy to you; it is stored inside you, along with the other negative energies you have been storing. It all needs to be purged.

This type of energy stays in many places in your body, but mainly in your hips. That is why, when I coach trauma clients, I always suggest yoga poses that help to release negative energy stored there. Just like with most people, their stress stores in the form of trigger points in certain areas of their body (as does the toxic energy we receive from others).

When you are intimate with someone, they release their energy inside you—positive, negative, or even worse: toxic.

Let’s look at energy:

Have you ever been somewhere and a person walks into a room, and the room suddenly feels stiff or goes dark? All of a sudden, your energy shifts—you are on “alert.” That is their negative energy that has entered the room with them.

We are, energy!

Many people state that they can have and truly enjoy sex on a casual level, that it doesn’t bother them to have meaningless, un-soulful sex without an emotional connection. I tend to think there is more to it than that.

I believe that most people who state that they are good with casual encounters are struggling with something deep inside them that has conditioned them to believe that this is all they deserve, which is complete bullsh*t!

Listen, I have never had a one-night stand, but I have surely had my share of booty calls and sex without an emotional connection or love. And although I would tell myself I was good with it, I was not.

I was deeply looking for that connection, but sadly I didn’t believe I was worth it, and to my surprise, I wasn’t really able to give it either. My mindset was simply that a sexual connection is better than no connection at all.

Wrong, so wrong!

That was many years ago, thankfully! Five years ago, after my traumatic divorce, I chose to reclaim my virginity. It sounds crazy, but crazy it is not. It is truly amazing. Learning that I have the power to decide who is worthy of my precious body is and was the most powerful feeling I have ever felt.

Looking back to when I just gave my body away, I cringe. I literally went through an exercise of self-forgiveness to be able to move forward without shame. I was carrying around this shame for allowing myself to be used.

The truth is, our bodies are sacred, and they are not meant to be given to just anyone for a moment of pleasure and circumstance that will never be more than what it is.

Sex, so often, is used as a tool to lure, attract, and keep people in their lives. But, seriously, how often does it truly sustain?

Love isn’t sex. Sex isn’t love.

Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone and felt immense grief after? Sure, maybe the moment was amazing.

Maybe you attained an amazing story to tell your closest friends about your multiple orgasms and the chemistry between you. But at the end of the day, when you got dressed and walked away, how did you feel?

I know how I felt. Like trash. Cheap. Used. Devalued.

That is a feeling I never want to experience again, and I won’t.

Again, love is not sex, and sex is not love.

My commitment to myself is that I will only engage in emotionally connected, spiritually centered sex. I will only be intimate and vulnerable with someone worthy of me and my body.

The message this sends to others is this: I am worthy; my body is sacred; I value myself.

Ladies, I urge you to think twice before you give your body to just anyone for a moment of pleasure.