A note to the person who can’t be there: I Understand

I understand if you’re too busy or if you just don’t care
I understand that moments of genuine connection between us are rare
I understand that I have to wait for you to show up, just when you want
At other times, you’re just not there.

I understand that everything else is perhaps more important than me
You’d prefer me to be in the shadows
Lurking around
Hanging there, waiting for you to just turn around and look at me

I understand that when you do,
I should feel on top of the world
Because such moments are once in a lifetime for me
It’s difficult for you to take out that time
Just for me
Because, well, everything else is so much more important than me

I understand that I am the privileged one
Because you chose me
I don’t know what I would have done without you
All I have is your stamp
There’s nothing special about me.

I know I’m so lucky
When you spare a compliment or two
I wonder what good did I do?
To deserve such words of love
That I otherwise, long for
And I don’t deserve them
So, you tell me

Not in words,
But in silences;
In excuses
and
In avoidances.

That grow and grow
And so do the shadows of our relationship
I understand that it’s not what I want it to be
That you are too occupied for me.
You are there you tell me
Only when I close my eyes;

When the night ends
And the dawn descends
You are there 
Yet, you are not.

And I understand 
Like every time
And I will again
This time too

While you will be where you are
I will no longer be there

Because 
I understand 
That you were never there
And never will be.

~