What is freedom anyway? Is it all wrapped up in a simple package of consensus, or is it open-ended possibilities that change whenever your mind does? Physical, psychological, political, spiritual… they are all forms of freedom or oppression, or somewhere in between, depending on who you are and where you live – did you choose your circumstance, did circumstance choose you, or a bit of both?

Freedom means different things to different people, so you have to ask yourself what it means to you, and take the stress off of trying to figure out what freedom means for anyone else. What does (would) it actually look like in your life? Should the freedom in your own life look the same in other people’s lives? Would it make you feel better if everyone agreed that your version of freedom was the ‘right’ way for everyone? Why? I ask these questions because I’ve been asking them my entire life.

At the beginning of adulthood, I grabbed a pack-sack, sleeping bag, guitar, and used my thumb to move around society, cities, rural areas, and desolate places. I felt totally free, yet I was alone, and could only do the things I could afford with the change from my busking habit. The interesting and strange people I met said that they were free, yet most were angry and disillusioned, feeling stuck in their lives, so were they really free? There were other things I wanted in life that the shunning of mainstream society couldn’t get me – And so, I was free to change my mind.

Later, I was writing and performing music, which felt free for sure, and with various part-time jobs I liked, propping up my lifestyle, I thought I had freedom in the bag. But, there were other things I wanted in life that I wasn’t able to get – And so, I was free to change my mind.

Then, I decided that making more money was what I needed because I wanted a houseboat, a pretty cheap place to own, not having to rent from someone else. I worked a job I didn’t like, but it afforded me the freedom to do what I wanted, and it was a conscious decision. Circumstance hit, and I was to become a mother – And so, I was free to change my mind.

Now, creating a life together with a partner, in a place we both ideally chose, is the version of freedom that I had been seeking right from the beginning, though I didn’t picture it that way at the time. What we think is freedom one day, may not feel the same later on. One of the main lessons I will teach my children is to strive for freedom, in whatever form that means to each of them – And, that they are always free to change their minds.

If you are reading this, you are in a circumstance to choose your own version of freedom. It is not other people or money or government or a virus that stops you from thinking about, dreaming up, and becoming who you want to be. It takes time, conscious trade-offs, and a willingness to change your mind. Because that’s life.

When I see the desperation in people trying to convince others that they are not free, all I see is the desperate search for their own freedom. And that’s okay, we all start from where we are, every day. You can begin by asking yourself, were you ever really free?