Toxic Masculinity. We hear this term a lot anymore, right? A term that incites seething responses from the harshest critics who are quick to damn more then just the toxic characteristics associated with masculinity, but masculinity as a whole. Here is the reality of the whole “toxic masculinity is bad” tagline, it’s bullshit. To protest toxic masculinity by putting down every male trait  as being negative or bad is to unjustly marginalize men as being inherently bad for simply being men. Now it should not go unnoticed that there are clusters of men throughout various cultures all over the world that are indeed toxic and yes, some of these men are just not great people. However, categorizing all men together with a small percentage of hyper toxic males is hardly fair. Most men are unfortunately taught bad habits from the start to no fault of their own. These are men who are just trying to meet the male norms of the period they just happened to be born into. Men who are taught from a young age to oppress their emotions in order to “be a man” or to not be a “pussy”. If you are a man like me, you were taught both directly and indirectly to push those emotions deep down inside and keep them to yourself because the reality you believed was that if you felt your feelings you were not being a man. The reality is that masculinity in itself is not toxic. Masculine energy is a necessity for harmony in our existence as a species, as is femininity. The two go hand in hand much like the Yin and Yang. Both contain a little of the other and both work in harmony together. Being dismissive of masculine characteristics by labelling them as “toxic” is not just wrong but it further polarizes people into a two party system (sound familiar?) where there is just PRO masculine on one side and ANTI masculine on the other. The reality of toxic masculinity is that masculinity itself is not toxic, rather, being toxic is a trait of ones character and therefore is not limited by gender. Nor is it distinguishable by class, ethnicity, skin color, height, etc. The act of being toxic is to refuse a person the right to be loved or accepted. To deny them the ability to feel or express their emotions due to perceived societal norms. Being toxic is to treat someone negatively because of one or all of the things that make them who they are as a person which in turn makes them feel inadequate or unlovable. I know what it feels like to be hurt by people who are toxic as I am sure anyone reading this does as well. We all have toxic traits that we have learned throughout our lives and it is up to ALL of us to make the conscious decision to let go of that toxicity and choose a different path. So go forth and see the good that is in others because right now the world needs a lot more love and a whole lot less hate.