I met a new friend over Thanksgiving weekend a few years back. We had conversations about consistency and self-worth, the two aspects of myself that I have trouble accepting. As I reflect on our discussion, I realize my life has been filled with inadequacy. Unfortunately, this defines how I feel about my life, my purpose, and my accomplishments.

It has been said that a thought isn’t valid until you feel it with your heart, mind, and soul; all three must be in agreement with one another. If they’re not, you’ll be conflicted.

There are some aspects of my life in which I know my worth. I know that I’m a dreamer, and I put in the effort to fulfill my purpose in life.

And this is why my life’s journey motto is “Start Unknown End Define” heal the beautiful struggle of life.

But it depends on the lense you are looking through. The “Unknown” can be the struggle, but “Define” can just as easily be a battleground. The “Unknown” is the future, and we are uncertain what it will look like.

But the decisions we make and the actions we take determine how the future will be shaped.

Choosing inaction is still an action – remember that.

I am terrified of what the future will bring because I can’t predict it.

You know – I’ve got to have control all the time.

All I have is faith and belief that I can do what it takes and put in the effort to pursue my dreams and goals.

It may not be as quick a path as others have taken, but I am doing it at my pace, slow and steady. We all have the potential to do well and to pursue our dream of becoming successful, whatever that might look like for us – happiness, wealth, health, family, etc…

Put in the hard work and make it happen.

The “Define” is our past. We let it describe us or how others see us. This is true, and I’ve done many things in my life by which my family has defined me, and that is what I am to them. And I am okay with that because they only see what they want to see.

I did a lot of stupid and random shit in my past. I regretted a few things, but those moments taught me lessons and made me a better person. What I did made me happy, sad, and numb at that moment.

I come from a dysfunctional family. This is one of the reasons I left Hawaii. I didn’t want what I saw between my parents. I wanted something different for myself and my future family. And here I am now.

Then there is both “Unknown” and “Define,” where we become complacent.

Why do we complain about how shitty our life has become?

It’s because we don’t want to put in the effort to change. I think we are used to living in our comfort zone because it’s all we’ve known.

We might stay at a job we hate for the paycheck or put on a front in a stale relationship – anything to stay in where we are comfortable. But in the end, there’s no growth when we refuse to step outside of our box.

Everything in life requires your energy.

Which do you want to feed?

The negativity inside the comfort zone, or the positivity beyond?

Like an optical illusion, you either see it, or you don’t. You can only perceive reality through what you personally see, feel, or experience. If you are not aware of it, it does not exist, and it’s not true – true for who?