As I write this, a part of me says stop, don’t do it, don’t let the world know you are jobless—what will people think?

Truth be told, the experience of wanting to work but not having work, can really affect your self-esteem.

It is one thing to choose to take a step back. It is completely different to have to accept your circumstances.

In a global pandemic where people are losing livelihoods at a drop of a hat, one should be feeling blessed to have shelter, food, and basic financial freedom. Yet, some of us strive to secure more finances and seek to get back in the job market.

This year I was forced to step down from a role within a start-up company due to ill-health. I was not at the top of my game and my recovery was long.

I found myself back in the job hunt. In one month I attended 30 interviews, completed 15 assignments, and had three contracts ghosted. I feel genuinely tired and highly demotivated.

Each day I have a regimented process of being absolutely grateful for where I am in life, which I am. I give 100 percent effort at home as a homemaker, hold meaningful conversations with family and friends, keep my health in check, and pursue my artistic hobbies.

On the surface, I seem to be well put together and okay with being unemployed. But the reality is, it’s hard.

My motivation is declining, and I can feel absolutely worthless. My education and experience in the job field seem to be holding less and less value as each day goes by.

Indian women, once married, are always told not to be concerned with being a professional. Society expects us to be a certain way and tells us we should focus on our family. Hardly anyone understands the individualistic desire to be of some use outside our homes.

Having learnt from life that eventually everything falls into place, a part of me doesn’t worry much.

I honestly feel that if a door had briefly opened, another will open soon, and I will be grateful for never giving up.

But until then, whoever wakes up every day and looks for employment, and feels dejected with rejections, all I can say is you are not alone.

Keep the faith, a door will open, if not, at least a window will—it always does.