I was a strange little girl. Almost a real life representation of the short film Tim Burton made called Vincent. My very first memory that is standing out for me goes back to when I was 5 or 6 years of age. There was a fancy dress and puppet show at the little play school I was attending. I remember keeping quite about this whole affair, I knew that if my mom knew she wont hesitate to dress me up in a country dress, with pink bows and white tights, the whole shebang. I kept the invite to myself and dressed up in what I thought I should be wearing to a fancy dress. That morning I dressed myself in a red tracksuit pants, oversize grey sweatshirt and my older sisters black fur leather jacket. And off I went. At school The girls were dressed up in their best pink country-dress, big pink bows, curled locked hair, white tights and best Sunday shoes. I remember feeling out of place but strangely comfortable there.

I played like any other girl with dolls and dressing them up. But that never kept me busy or entertained, what I spent most of my time on was playing the mad scientist. I loved mixing potions and see what reacts with what, experimenting and digging up worms to be my lab rats, I loved the peculiarities and even the dark and strange but with this I was gentle towards life and always on a mission to make plant lice my pets and save the street dogs.

I was 9 years old when my grandmother took me to the movies. It was her first time going to a cinema and just as an extra treat for me she asked me to choose the movie. I looked around at all the movie posters trying to decide which one looks most interesting. My eyes locked on one and I pointed out to my grandmother. I can remember her being very skeptical, trying her best to get me to choose something else, but with no luck. I was over the moon with excitement my grandmother was underwhelmed and puzzled. The movie starts and it was everything I thought it would be and more. I can remember thinking to myself that the people in the movie look the way that I feel and I have no words for that expect that I love The Adams Family. The movie was over and my grandmother expressed her disapproval of my choice for a movie with a promise that she will never go to the movies with me ever again. And so did every other family member who left movie choices up to me from there on.

I was strange and diagnosed with early childhood depression at the tender age of 7. before that I was in and out of hospital as a small child and had to undergo medical procedures and operations due to a birth defect in my right eye. I know that it made me weary of special attention, because pain meant I get a new coloring  book or sweets and even my parents undivided attention, I did not like the pain so I didn’t want the attention. I just wanted to be in the dark the peaceful place I was in when my eyes were shut for days and sometimes weeks. In the beginning I was scared until one day my dad took my hand and said that you can see in the dark and if it is too dark