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Last night, I attended a chord severing ceremony with a group of friends.
The intent of the evening was to assist me in letting go of unhealthy things and people that no longer serve me.
In the presence of friends, I wrote out my grievances, expressed my pain and unhealthy coping strategies, and watched them burn one by one as I placed them in a fire.
This alone was liberating.
I felt a slow release and redemption.
Following this exercise, candles and herbs were prepared.
I was gifted with a necklace, crystals, and a flower crystal ball.
I felt nurtured and loved.
The house was filled with candles and sweet music as we settled into large, comfy chairs.
Two candles were lit and tied representing the past, the present, and unhealthy bonds. A single solitary candle represented healing and the restoration of self-love.
The embers burned and roared a long, slow fire until the cord was severed. I watched this mesmerized and in awe. This was a symbolic act, and I felt a chill and an instant lift.
The ceremony was healing and transformative.
After the flames died, my friends lead me to their guest room, as I felt exhausted and too tired to drive. My friend’s cat and dog stayed with me, watching and guarding me throughout the night as I slept deeply.
I felt like I was in an altered state. When morning broke, I was restored. I thanked my friends, gathering the gifts that they bestowed, and headed off.
“Go write your own Eat, Pray, Love now,” said my colleague. I smiled and headed for the highway, thinking the same thing and writing in my head.
This isn’t a novel, but it is a start.
This will be a restart. The following is an excerpt. This day, and in this very moment, I am returning back to my authentic self.
I’m experiencing a renewal, and in the return back to myself, I will experience self-care, compassion, and self-respect.
This is my own version of Eat, Pray, Love; it begins with nourishment.
Today, I begin with sustenance, for I know it is time to nourish my body, mind, and soul.
It is time to take extra care.
The restoration process begins.
To nourish, I drive out to the country and take in the scenery; I put away the screens and relax, breathing the country air.
A local market garden provides fresh produce and country paths-free for pedestrians.
I relax, and this is the pause I desperately need.
For some time now I have neglected to feed my mind, body, and spirit.
In giving to others, I have neglected to fill up my own cup.
After the market, I walk to a country bistro and dine solo al fresco.
I cherish and slowly eat while the air gently caresses my cheek.
This sustenance is more than food; it is the air I breathe.
It is words that I read and write and love a deeper love than earthbound humans can find here.
Like a bird that has overflown, I fall, settling softly.
Sensuality is engaging fully in the moment coming alive. I come back to myself, to my breath, feeling the clothes on my skin and the warmth of coffee that fills my mouth.
This sensuality I will embrace and return to celebrating this life.
Each quiver and shiver shall be mine alone.
Intimate conversations I shall reserve for God, and I will guard my thoughts and the intimacy of words waiting for a love that deserves to enter my inner sanctum.
I shall celebrate my womanhood this day and always, for I am a creator of life and love.
This sensuality is my own embrace.
In reprieve, I will take rest.
In meditation and prayer my spirit will rejoice letting go, surrendering, finding solace.
My spirit celebrates life and love.
When my heart yearns for connection, I will remind myself to be patient and wait for a healthy kind of love—one that lifts and shares openly without prejudice.
I know I will need to remind myself of this often. Each day is a new beginning and a fresh start.
Let the healing begin.
~
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