The human condition is a logistical nightmare.

I’ve been studying it for two decades now and I’m still perplexed half the time; especially when relationships are involved. What is true for me is not necessarily true for anyone else and creating a shared understanding of every situation is not possible.  Diversity exists period.

Further, our own internal environments can also mysterious and confusing. When I first started taking my advanced training in organizational change management and applying the principles it to my internal structures, systems and processes; it quickly became obvious that the management of the human condition is sometimes far more complex than managing a business structure. It’s also far more emotional.

Especially if you’re neurodiverse.

For the purpose of shared understanding, I define neurodiverse as a variation in human brain functioning that can include differences in sociability, learning, attention, mood and other mental functions in a non-pathological way.  Many associate the term neurodiversity to be synonymous with an autism spectrum diagnosis, but neurodiversity doesn’t need a specific diagnosis.  For me it has been as much about the volume and excess amount of sensory information as it has been about the way my body processes it.

It has made everything more complex and more difficult.  Imagine walking with needles in your feet or hearing a banging drum 24-7.  It doesn’t incapitate you from completing tasks, but it takes so much more focused energy, something that has been harder to manage in the days of Covid and beyond.

Those of us working inside of a neurodiverse nervous system very often have had to learn everything more than once. We were first taught the typical way (often unsuccessfully and with great trauma to ourselves) and then we were left to figure out the “hack” on our own.  We are masters at creative solutions though many of us feel like we are aberrations rather than skilled survivalists. I wouldn’t even admit that I was neurodiverse after I was diagnosed with a sensory input condition.  The stigma is not good.

The fact that some of us have incredible sight and perspective only makes for additional complications. I am both incredibly empathic and psychic.  The volume of information that I receive is unnerving and if I am tired it can overwhelm me to the point of disassociation or panic.  The more information the sensory system picks up on, the more information the body has to process through its’ systems as well.  It’s not just the exposure, it’s the time it takes to regulate the nervous system after it has been disrupted.

Most of the information is not valuable or actionable either.  It’s a learned art to understand which information is relevant and what is just excess sensory noise.  Sure, I just jumped out of my body from the car honking, but is there anything I could have done to prevent it and/or is a response necessary.  If I know the person in the car, yes there is.  If I don’t there is not.  Regardless, however, I still have to regulate my nervous system after the fact.

Not unlike training a new employee where any individual skill set needs to match the job description, the job specific training will not have any relevant scaffolding on which to adhere unless the person has relevant personal knowledge in which to situate and utilize the new information.

You wouldn’t expect your iPhone to be able to handle and Android update. Without at least some prior understanding of the concept, technical training is all but worthless.

Here’s where it gets even more dicey:

A good portion of the human condition is perception. What we see, how we see and how we respond are heavily influenced by our histories and out environments.

So, it’s subjective. Empirical truths in relationships are very difficult to come by and our lives are a steady stream of interrelationships.

Example:

I see black.
You see grey.

I bring in supporting evidence from my life that corroborates my assertion that it is black.

You then do the same with grey.

We both provide logical, data driven and researched evidence for our choice.

Fortunately, we are mature adults and we agree that we have different perspectives and then find a third shade that fits both of our requirements.

(I know. Compromise is rarely this simple).

So neither one of us is right or wrong.

How does it get so complicated?

Power. Money. Resources.

As soon as one person is holding more resources, they have the ability (aka money) to assert their point and then give/withdraw resources to individuals who support or oppose their authority.

This matters now in new ways.

How?

The currency is shifting as our natural resources dwindle. What is going to be needed are more internal resilience skills as well as the ability to think and act critically more often.

We need solution based equitable leadership.

Those of us who are not hard wired into what is considered neurotypical have been at a sincere disadvantage in the current global relationship to work. Commodity acquisition is much harder when 60-70% of ones’ bandwidth is spent translating a world that is out of sync with their CPU.

This has been a disability for many of us up until this point. We have had to work twice as hard for half as much.

There is an interesting silver lining here though. We are resilient souls at this point. Many of us have such diverse and interactive thinking processes as well as an ability to contain and manage sensory systems that pick up on everything.

We know how to work through pain. We know how to work through distraction. We know how to work through being misunderstood. We know how to adapt our language to a wide variety of different people.

These are some epic skills to have.

They are also part of the new currency system.

Self-regulation cannot be bought. It must be birthed, nurtured, articulated and practiced.

Anyone relate?