Soon We Will Die.

Do you ever think about the fact we’re all going to be dead soon?

I do.

I accidentally mistyped my age as 22 instead of 33. And I it made me stop.  “Woah! On one hand, I feel as if no time has gone by since I was 22!”

Blink of an eye.

A few years ago I was planting tomatoes with my father and reminisced, we may only do this another 15-20 or so times in this lifetime. And this is providing we spend every summer together and both live an average lifespan.

This still tears me up. I love spending time with him. But life is pouring through our fingertips.

There is nothing we can do to stop the sands of time slipping through our fingers.

Sometimes I watch the arguments and fears dialoguing in my head, and when I catch them think… “Why? What will any of this matter when I am no longer here? Is debating this even relevant in my life?”

Sometimes when my mind is still, post meditation, I catch my body, and see how it has aged, yet almost unnoticed. It continues to be unnoticed apart from when my mind is slow.

Time moves in sneaky ways. Elusive to our goal-orientated minds.

And we push and focus on ‘some’ things. House, car, business, the next yoga pose/class/studio. Provide for the kids. Do xyz before we can ‘be happy’

Why?

I have realized there is no later. The things I thought would make me ‘happy’ .. don’t.

And there is a bliss and wisdom in this. The desire turns deeper inwards. Craving, yearning for a deeper discipline of connection with life.

Softness… Surrender…

“If there is to be more success let it come with more stillness.”

Many years ago at a festival I stayed up all night talking to a man I had met. As the sun rose I was softened into awe and exclaimed.., “I want to do more of this. I want to watch many more sunrises in my lifetime.” The awe was partially from the sun, partially from the depth of connection we experienced.

I want more. More stillness in my life.

I want time to go slow.

I want to feel the air as it dances across the crest of my nose.

Smell the changes of gum as I walk beneath them.

Be with nature, it’s cycles and again revel with deep gratitude at the sheer fact: I am alive.

At least, for this moment. I am alive.

We, are alive.

And none of us really know how long this will last.