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“Whether it’s science or magic, if it’s of fun benefit, enjoy!” ~ ed

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“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.” ~ Brené Brown

We have all been deep in it this last month, maybe longer. Deep in a process of bringing us straight into all that has pained us, all that we have feared to get intimate with, whether triggered by loss in all meanings of the word, personal illness, relationships, or otherwise. Our wounds. Our crumbling and faltering belief systems.

We have been entrenched in a process of purification with the Virgo energy these last few weeks. Many of us have had health crisis of self, been brought to the threshold of our own practiced emotional/nervous system capacity, to life’s knife edge of pain, experienced great discomfort, total overwhelm or defeat, and have been enduring the big tower moments of the ground shifting fast and hard beneath our feet.

Yup, I get it. I’ve been in it. So deep in it. So deep into the process and emotional turmoil I’ve forgotten to step outside of it to breathe. To step back and witness the chaos. To not get sucked under over and over and over again. It’s been a lot. More than I ever thought I would be equipped to handle.

But, we are equipped, and our resilience is building. That doesn’t mean we won’t and haven’t been getting totally overwhelmed by life these days. And, there is something happening in the energy right now that is so far out of our control that our emotions are brimming so close to the surface, primed and ready for release. And, in that release, there is a lightening, even if just momentarily. Some days, we may feel totally at a loss of what the “right” next step is.

Bombarded by external influences for…the entirety of our human existence, we are seeing how much chaos that has brought into our lives. How easily we have been conditioned to look to others for answers. To give our power away to another to decide what is best for us. To evacuate from our innate sense of sovereignty, our divine, and most basic birthright.

I’m not saying we can’t have guides, teachers, and helpers along the way. We absolutely need those! But, for anyone, much like myself, who has a groove, a neural wiring, a pattern that more often than not distrusts that quiet intuitive voice within, you may understand the thread I am weaving.

Self-trust is the crux of the crux. If we can’t trust ourselves, how could we trust another? This is the hardest excavation work of all, but also the most imperative at this time. To find even a morsel of self-trust and begin to water that seed.

With Virgo season in full swing for just a few more days (ending on September 22), we have been hyper-focused on the health of the self. This broadly can apply to the sense of well-being we have in relation to all facets of life: to our bodies of course, to our jobs, to our money/resources, to our support system, to our relationships, to any and all energies that drain and deplete us, or build up and nourish us.

The health of our minds is also maybe one of the most vital aspects of our overall sense of well-being and balance. Virgo season has brought into question things we may have otherwise wanted to ignore. Are we clearly honoring ourselves and our energy? Are we listening to that quiet voice within guiding each step? Or have we been spinning the mental wheels (Mercury which rules Virgo) in our heads over each experience and situation?

Virgo is all about seeking the quintessential essence, the perfection of life, health, habits, and routines. But, in a constructed reality fueled and run by shifting, chaotic energy, is there such a thing as perfect balance and order? Perhaps, there is in nature, one which many of us have been told time and time again to distrust. Health wanes, unexpected surprises/loss come our way in a split second, relationships exit our lives. Our bodies are constantly taking stock of our environment and responding accordingly. There is no perfect state of health to be reached, just a constant tweaking and adjusting to better serves our bodies, minds, and spirits.

We could exhaust ourselves over the toxins and impurities within and around us. But, really what is beneath that story? That we have attached and identified as impure, unclean, unequipped with the resources to rebalance. Virgo energy has been here to show us, yes, how to get healthier on all levels, and also that obsessive, fearful energy hyper-focused on the issue doesn’t get us much further or closer to our sense of wholeness and well-being. Fear begets more fear, always.

We are moving into a full moon in the opposing sign of Pisces at 28 degrees of the water sign on September 20/21 at 5:54 p.m. MST. Being that this full moon is nearing the critical degree and so close to the end of the Pisces energy and end of the zodiac wheel, the energy of endings is extra amplified. We are at the end of the end. The end of the rope. The rock bottom, if you will. Could this be a scary or overwhelming realization? Of course. But, it also means we have nowhere else to go but up.

We all have been showing up to these energies, whether stumbling our way through, breaking down (breaking through) into allowing our more primal emotions to be felt (anger, grief), chaotically spinning out into the obsessive fear frenzy of the mind, shutting down, shutting off, or however otherwise we have been showing up. And, that’s truly all that is being asked of us. Keep showing the f*ck up. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune. We all could be feeling some patterns of escapism wanting to surface. Escapism is truly a mechanism of survival. It’s not good/bad, right/wrong. But, is it serving our evolution? Neptunian energy can be a little dreamy, a little more in the imaginary realms of life, which can be helpful or not, depending on how our minds are using it, whether to create more chaos in the mind or more beauty in the heart. Pisces is a water sign, deep, imaginative, dreamy, compassionate, caring, feels the pain of others as if it were its own, empathic, healing.

We are coming to the end of many things. It will be different for each person. Maybe a literal job is ending. Maybe, a relationship. Maybe, a change or move in location. Maybe, the tower moments of death or illness signal the need for deeper healing and care for the self and our process.

Chiron, the Wounded Healer, has still been in retrograde, giving us a heavy dose of our own medicine or poison. The alchemical process of healing. Are our wounds poisoning us or healing us?

Mercury is in its shadow period now and about to go retrograde in the sign of Libra on September 27. Being that we are in the shadow, the subconscious mind is activated. Our fears around communication (Mercury) or relationships (Libra). What has been hovering beneath the surface dictating our experiences?

Mercury retrograde is always a good time to slow down, to listen within, to pause, to lean into the bumpy points, and to reflect on our communication within the self and with others. Libra is all about the relationship to other. We will be entering Libra season on September 23, marking the transition of energy from the first half of the zodiac wheel focused on the self to the second half of the wheel focused on self and other.

Libra is the peacekeeper, the balancing of the scales. We may get even more opportunities this next season of life to find and restore peace within the self and within our relations.

This full moon in Pisces is an invitation to allow. Allow the endings to be here. Allow the new beginnings to be a little or a lot unknown. Allow the self to feel whatever and however they are feeling in each moment. And, to notice when our emotions are ruling us, and perhaps when we can choose to be the observer. Pisces energy is here for all of us. To shed even deeper the attachments that have been festering like parasites inside of us. To the entities and energies that are keeping us sick, fragmented, and lost at sea. Separated from the wholeness of self. Separated from our own heart and intuitive knowing.

Keep showing up. Keep showing up for the process you are in. Do we have to like it? Of course not. But, we can always, always, always offer ourselves more compassion, more healing care, and empathy for the hardships.

As Dory from “Finding Nemo” would say, “Just keep swimming.” Channel that Pisces energy to soften your heart again. Soften the attachments. Soften the patterns of protection. Soften the patterns of resistance. Swimming in the waters of these times does not have to be a solo process either. Get outside of yourself long enough to see the humanity in all. The love in another. The pain in another. And the beauty in our relations to other.

Yes, keep swimming. Keep going, but you’re allowed to ease up on yourself. You’re allowed to still live your life, no matter what is transpiring for you. You’re allowed to teach yourself new patterns of thinking and believing. You’re allowed to find and have community, friends, and support that you can lean into. We were never supposed to do this on our own.

We are all only here for a short while, and we need each other more than ever. When in doubt, choose love. And, in that choice, you are already braver, bolder, and more courageous than you will ever know.

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More on this Full Moon: The Last of Summer’s Full Moons: Pisces triggers Emotions & Relationships. {September 20th}