I’m new to this whole blogging thing. So here it goes. Im gonna tell you more about me since I’m. New to this whole blogging thing so u can get comfortable with me and you as my readers

I was born down south in Jackson Mississippi and then we moved to Virginia. Cause my mom is a military veteran she served her country for 21 years of service to this great nation. And country. So did my dad who is also a veteran. Too. My whole life changed since that day. Everyday or every weekend my mom deployed a lot. And it was difficult. I missed her a lot but. I went to a school on a base. In Virginia. Camp Allen and then north side middle school and Maury highschool and. Then my parents divorced. And that hurt me a lot. More then u know. My dad was an alcoholic he drinked a lot. And drove drunk a lot. I remember when I was little girl. My dad flipped his truck off the bridge. And for me that was the day I knew my mom and dad was getting a divorce it completely changed me and who I am knowing I won’t have my dad in my life. My mom gave him chances to see us. And watch over me and my brother. My dad continued to drink alcohol I was hurting seeing him drinking like that after my mom and dads divorce it effected me deeply then my brother. I was 13 at the time in middle school. I couldn’t focus in class. Or do homework and I didn’t want to eat. At school or home. I didn’t think it would effect me that. Much but it. Did. I started. Being depressed. Even when I got home. Same thing happened didn’t want to eat or do homework only thing I wanted to do was sleep. And not speak to nobody. This happened for three years it then continued again. Depression was so hard that I had to hide it a lot. I couldn’t express myself in school. Even the teachers kinda knew something was wrong with me. I was flunking in classes. Falling asleep in them didn’t want to be around nobody or my friends. I wanted to be by myself even on the bus I sat at the back of the bus

everyday in the morning and evening after school I liked writing a lot I expressed myself in my depression a lot but I never showed anyone. That was my way out. But of course. I kept it as journal too when I was sad or depressed or angry I wrote it down but that was my way of expressing myself and depression something I still hid from friends and teachers and my mom. A lot. She didn’t even know I was deeply effected. By it. In middle school I also took prescription pills to help me and too keep me focused. A lot to help me I took 3 in morning and 4 at night I took them a lot. I hid that also from my mom. Took pils to hide depression Exactly nobody known. At all. I was high every day and night and I forgot the world and who was in it I was dancing at night looking at the moon and then all of a sudden. I was pretending to be someone else. Listening to music while taking pills was how I shut the pain out and world too. Every night I shut it out. I listened to rock music and goth music and Madonna too and the queen of the dammned soundtrack one day out of the blue I had to go see a phychiatrist which didn’t work. I took it so hard that I told her I was depressed and this and that and i opened up then she said you have bipolar depression disorder and personality disorder. So I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t tell anyone. My mom joked about it. And that hurt me a lot. And then. In high school I literally felt more depressed ever because. In high school I turned 18 and depression set it and so did my anger and my personality did too. I was really suffering from it then. I didn’t want to be around friends or family or nothing. I had so much sadness and anger towards my father. It literally built up since then. I couldn’t control it but instead I starting writing which helped a lot too. But same time I written I opened up old wounds. Which really hurt so I continued but in high school. Writing and me went along very well. Helped with my anger but not with depression. Cause even today I still have depression. I’m just very good at hiding it. And playing along very well.

Even my mom still says she’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with me first she thought i was belemic which I’m not and anorexic which I’m not. I started losing weight and believe me. I was so skinny. Drinked a lot of water and. Ate right worked out. But I also took pills this and that in middle school and highschool year and I was still skinny. Too. Even when depressed I slept a lot and didn’t eat a lot but I drinked water a lot and more.

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Thank you readers