A while ago I facilitated a self-pleasuring experience.

One of the first questions that come up is: “How do you facilitate that? Because I know how to do it.”

My answer is this: you know how to masturbate, and self-pleasuring is actually a different experience, as is a sexual energy experience.

What we did in this experience was have the energy practices, of breath, of movement, of touch, of sound, and then have the genital touch experience.

Here’s an example; we did some Heart Breath, connecting with our Heart Centre, with our body, then the lights went off, it was a really dark room, giving people the space to caress their bodies, going within, feeling, sensing.

Then the lights would come back up; we did the next energy practice, and once again, Yoni or Lingam caress.

There were many elements to this experience, and the intention was to have a heightened sexual energy experience.

Which is different to, but not always separate from, a pleasure experience.

Now, I know that sounds a little convoluted.

Here’s the difference.

Our sexual energy is a powerful force in the body that we can use for many things—healing, creativity, meditation, spirituality, consciousness, and more.

A self-pleasuring experience is generally about high states of pleasure.

They’re not separate in that pleasure becomes the way in to the energy; that’s what builds it in the body.

The difference comes in understanding that we need to learn to stay in the energy and not get distracted by the pleasure, by the orgasm.

That’s often what takes time. There’s a different awareness in an energy experience.

What makes it a little more complex is that, often, these energies entwine.

The higher the energy, the higher the pleasure.

And there is a point, if we can stay in the energy, where that takes us deeper into ourselves, into our bodies, into our hearts, into presence.

It’s not, as with many aspects of sexuality, so simple.

We understand it more through practice than anything else because they’re both body experiences rather than intellectual.

In the feeling, in the sensation, we start to get it, rather than in the mind.

Learning to stay in the energy opens so much possibility in our sexuality.

That’s where the deeper connection with ourselves is.

That’s where the deeper connection with others is.

That’s where the deeper connection with life is.

And that’s where we can access and use our sexual energy.

That’s where the wisdom of the body is.

That’s where the energy can take us to those higher places.

That’s where we can release the creativity of the energy.

That’s where it can become a meditation.

That’s where the vitality is.

And here’s what’s so interesting. The higher the energy we can hold, the more pleasure we can experience.

And the higher the state of pleasure we can experience, the more energy there can be when we’re willing to stay in the energy.

It’s saying that there are so many possibilities in our sexuality, in our bodies.

And with openness, with awareness, we can have so many different experiences.

Here’s the “Heart Breath Practice.”

You’re going to breathe into your Heart Centre, in the middle of your chest, deep in the middle of your body. You may want to place one, or both hands on your chest to help you connect.

Take a deep breath in and have the awareness, even if it’s just in your imagination that you’re breathing into your Heart Centre, and as you breathe out, that’s where you’re exhaling from.

Do this for two to three minutes.

Then some self-pleasure touching, not getting too close to orgasm.

Go back to the Heart, breathing for two or three minutes.

And again self-pleasuring.

See if you can do this five times, not getting too close to orgasm, and breathing into your Heart Centre.

Then lie or sit still for about 10 minutes, and feel the energy move in your body.