My retirement money is all gone! I saved and saved and now this. Why didn’t I just drink more?

If I had bought $1000 of stock a year ago, I would now have:
$91.28 if I bought Washington Mutual
$37.50 if I bought Neomagic
$21.29 if I bought Freddie Mac
$20.79 if I bought Fannie Mae

But, if I had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND… I would have $… 214.00 in cash.

So, apparently, the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg Plan.