Hi friends,

I am a woman in my 50’s with some physical defects in one eye and one ear. I grew up learning to live with these defects owing to the lack of support available. However, since childhood back in my day meant playing and enjoying life, these defects went unnoticed.

However, at the age of 25, I got married into a new family. A family that now noticed my defects, taunted me for my shortcomings. This made me vulnerable in a way that I had never felt before. I began to lose my confidence, my self esteem was the lowest it had ever been. Then, 4 years later, I became a mother to a daughter. This was going to change my life and I did not even know it.

As my daughter grew up, she was an outspoken, intelligent girl.  She was a stage kid. From participating in speech and debate competitions to working on plays, she did it all in her younger years. This opened my life up and I was introduced to my strength! I was her writer. I wrote and edited some of her speeches and plays and my work was recognised for the first time ever! I was appreciated!

I continued writing all through her lower and middle school years. However, as she moved to high school, things changed. Studies now took prominence in her life and since I had nothing to write for, I lost touch with my …… skill. Little did I know, my conscience kept my skill alive and safe.

Conscience, a word I was introduced to when my daughter moved upto college. She did what she felt was the right thing for her.to do – listened to her conscience-  and choose to study psychology. She continued to listen to her conscience in all aspects of her life and that worked for her. Of course she made her mistakes, but who doesn’t?

As parents we often crib about our children being adamant and not listening to us but the fact is that before being our children, hey are independent individuals. So what you say to them as a bystander/ an individual/ a parent may not work out for them in every situation. It is only their own conscience that can guide them. I learnt to listen to my conscience from my daughter.

Three years before entering my fabulous 50’s I went into a depression. Not knowing what to do, whom to talk to, I turned to my conscience. As I  entered my 50s, I started taking decisions only according to my conscience and it worked like magic for me!

Through my journey in life, I’ve felt all kinds of emotions- the good, the bad and the ugly. What I know today is I’ve finally felt confidence in myself. This is that one feeling I hadn’t felt till now. I love myself today and I’m proud of my worth because I was able to achieve things in life again. I owe this all to my one guide- MY CONSCIENCE. It is because of listening to my inner voice that I’m writing again.

Today, I’m writing my story to share it with anyone who may suffer from low self esteem. To them I say, knock the door of your conscience and it will guide you to your best self. So go ahead and Turn it on, tune in, and drop out with your new best friend- your conscience!