Okay, so they finally came.

I’d been doing so well,

You’re okay,

Push on.

It was so much easier to ignore it all.

Toughen up.

No, seriously toughen up, I’d demand of myself.

Any sign of negative spiral to be ignored

“It’s all in your head”, I’d argue off.

And perhaps it is. I mean no, you’re right, it really is.

But that doesn’t change when today it came crashing down,

And it was so hard to fight,

It just felt like pure mis.

But the difference now

Is when I do cry

I’m still not letting it spiral,

I’m just letting feeling what is here.

I’m so proud of my heart,

I’m so proud of my body

And I’m so gentle to me,

That finally tears felt safe.

Nausea still there

I mean why are tears here

What are my greatest fears

When what where why is everything starting to swirl

It feels scary and unnerving

To which my body always likes to put waves of nausea through me,

A creeping hand of control it thinks it can get by.

But it’s okay.

I know all in all,

It’s just my body doing it’s best.

Now enough of this.

I’m getting trapped in my mind.

Our words have started to get us free enough,

Now it’s time to keep moving.

You’ll be okay my dear.

And remember each day is just another one of learning.

I love you,

Always x