After years of meditation and reading Dharma, I’m happy to announce two things: 

1) I am resilient. I can handle huge amounts of chaos, fear, stress…and keep breathing, connecting with community, finding my feet on the ground and my eyes on the view.

2) Sometimes, none of that is true, and I freak out, and my heart tightens, and my fear brain starts whirring round and round, and…it’s humbling.

My parents’ teacher, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, used to talk about “Dharma without credentials.” IE, I can tell you how many retreats I’ve done, or what positions I’ve held…but none of it matters. It also doesn’t not matter. But it’s besides the point.

What matters is beginner’s mind, bodhicitta heart: if we can begin again, as in my favorite poem, and if we can be kind, to ourselves, and to others.