I’ve been dealing with constipation since childhood.
It’s not fun. It’s painful. It leads to all sorts of medical problems later on, like hemorrhoids.
Sound familiar?
But if I managed to find relief, so will you.
After years of trial-and-error, I’ve compiled a list of methods that will get your guts back on track.
1) Food Intolerances
Common culprits are coffee and chocolate. But depending on your body, any kind of food can wreak havoc in your system.
This is not to demonize certain types of food. But taking note of what you eat, and which effect this has on your digestion, is basic self-care.
Personally, a bite of chocolate makes me constipated right away.
Do I still eat chocolate sometimes? Yes. Do I regret it? Absolutely. I’m a human.
But I know why I’m constipated and which decisions lead to it. I can avoid chocolate and live constipation-free.
So, get observing and learn how your gut reacts to certain foods.
2) Prune Juice
If you have a prune intolerance or allergy, skip this step.
If not, then prune juice will inevitably kick your digestion into gear!
While I drink one glass (200ml) a day, I know people who’d develop diarrhea from that amount.
Experiment! Start slow and build your intake as needed. Maybe one glass a week will be enough for you, maybe not.
Additionally, there’s also a ton of health benefits.
3) Get your heart rate up!
Yes, I’m talking about cardio.
Exercise is one of the most effective ways to combat constipation.
But before you resignedly get off the couch for some jumping jacks, let me stop you right there.
Exercise doesn’t mean “exercise regimen”. You don’t need to follow ten fitness YouTubers or start a gym membership to stay motivated.
Such linear forms of physical activity bore me, personally. I hated PE in my school days.
So don’t let your workouts be like PE!
My solution to this is freestyle dancing.
Put on your favorite (or not so favorite) music and move however your body wants to move.
Are you going to feel silly? Probably. Your mind might also judge you for your perceived lack of elegance. It’ll also want to create some kind of choreography.
Your mind is not your friend.
But you’re going to reach an egoic plateau where you’re more in your body and less in your head. At that point, movement becomes movement, unattached to your ego’s judgment.
If you haven’t been moving much recently, your muscles will have a lot of energy they need to deplete.
Let them! Jam to your heart’s content! If you’re a sweaty mess with your heart hammering in your chest, awesome!
Do this for at least 15 minutes a day.
4) Stand, don’t sit
If movement isn’t possible for you, stand up for at least an hour.
By planting both feet on the ground, you force your body to counter gravity in a way sitting doesn’t.
Doing this might be harder than you think. If you start getting dizzy, just sit and continue later.
Maybe get a standing desk for your computer to make a habit out of this. Sitting for prolonged periods of time isn’t healthy in general.
5) Rectal Massage
The rectum is a body part that tends to get ignored and I’m all for changing that.
Most of us hold so much tension in our glutes and anal sphincters, it’s no wonder we’ve invented the idiom “tight-arse” for misers and excessively inhibited folks.
If that activates something in you, I invite you to explore it.
Get a nitril glove (or use your bare finger) and lots of lube. More than you think you need. Coconut oil works as well.
Pro tip: Turn the nitril glove inside out! The inner layer is less abrasive.
Next, be slow and gentle. Don’t force your body to open— that also applies to your pussy, if you have one.
Take your time to massage the area and keep an open mind about what feels relaxing. This is your body. You can’t do this wrong. If something hurts, stop and try something else.
Also, never ever put your rectal finger into your vagina!
That’s a recipe for a yeast infection.
6) Colon Awareness Practices
I discovered this by accident during somatic therapy.
Sit in a comfortable position and focus on your belly. Your eyes can be closed or open; whatever helps you concentrate.
Feel your abdomen expand with every inhale. Feel it shrink with every exhale. How nuanced is your perception here? Is there any pain or discomfort? Warmth? Tingling? Numbness?
Do the sensations change the more you zoom into them?
After seconds or several minutes, your viscera will relax.
What you want to hear are the gargling sounds in your colon and stomach. They mean your digestion is working well. With practice, you can even induce a bowel movement this way.
And that sums this list up!
You deserve effortless bowel movements. Investing time in how your digestive tract works adds to your quality of life in immeasurable ways.
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