While this past year has been hard, and sad, gratitude at what I do have and enjoy is strong, this morning. May there be Peace on Earth, and Goodwill to all—even the Scrooges (if they reform):

There is so much selfishness in this world.

Most of us are accountable, we say “I’m sorry” if we effed up, though we may not easily apologize for more complicated situations where we’re not entirely at fault…we care. We try. We go low-drama, and aim to grow up, and love.

But so many “at the top” got there because they care only for themselves, and their egos. And that’s where, as I write in my new book, “shame” has its place.

Shame is (under)rated.

It’s a feeling of humbled-ness, of “oops, I was out of line,” of learning. It’s a feeling we needn’t drown in, most of us, but one that we can learn from, and then rejoin the caring living masses who try, and laugh about ourselves and our many mistakes.

This has been the roughest year of my life, and one of the best ones, perhaps, too, in that I’ve learned, and been humbled, and been humbled, and learned, and then been kicked in the guts, again.

And I’m still here. Sad, despondent, ready to give up…but I never will. For that’s our path: to care. To care. To care whether it comes back, or not. And to let go of those situations where we have tried and done all we can. But not before.

You can get my new book at elephantjournal.com/shop. it’s printed eco, local. It’s a lovely gift, with meaning and help in its pages. It’s all the wisdom that helped me, and my life, move forward through the good times and the lonely or hard ones.

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So, PS: Merry Christmas Eve, everyone. I say that as a so-called heathen, told I’d burn in hell casually over dinner by a step-mom, once. ⁠
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I love this day, and I love this time of year, even if, this year, I have ample room in my heart for sadness. And here’s why.