By Deborah Livingston

In examining my experience with losing loved ones, I’ve realized yes, I’m a medium, but I’m also human. My recent losses have significantly impacted my humanness, body, mind, and soul! As a medium, I know that the souls of my loved ones live on and they are ok, but that didn’t ease my grief as a human. One thing that has been helping me process my grief and instrumental in unveiling me to the signs and symbols of my loved ones is the study of Buddhism. I’ve also been asked many questions regarding what it’s like being a medium and losing loved ones.

My name is Debs, and I’m an international, award-winning Psychic Medium. I’ve learned over the years that when connecting with the spirit world and delivering loving, guided messages to my clients, there is no room for my emotions. I need to remain professional yet supportive and comforting. Sometimes evidence and or messages coming through elicit feelings from my heart, but I’ve got to stay composed. There’s been one occasion where I just lost it and cried with my client over the loss of a child. It pulled on my heartstrings when amazing comfort was achieved by the child delivering unique and precise evidence through me to let their mom know they were ok. Yes, mediums are human too.

On August 3, 2021, exactly one week before my birthday, I lost my Lilo to a horrific and tragic death. Lilo was my 5-year-old female French bulldog. Anyone who knows me knows my most profound connection to all animals, but Lilo was much, much more! Her moving across the rainbow bridge brought me to my knees. I had been having dreams for months that I would pass on or right before my birthday. However, I know Lilo loved me SO much that she decided to not let that happen and took my place. My heart was/is shattered. I carried such guilt over her passing.

On June 1, 2022, my favorite person ever passed away, my mother-in-law. She was so known for her love, kindness, and giving spirit. Her famous line, “what can I do for you?” will always echo in my heart. Her last words to me were, “oh, Deborah, how I love you so!” Always thinking of others before herself. Billy Joel sure got it right when he recorded Only the Good Die Young.

My mother-in-law in years wasn’t exactly young, but her heart and spirit sure were. So it should be no surprise that her favorite shape was a heart. The last week with my mother-in-law was all transition. First, a blue jay sat on her porch railing every day. Then, a few days before her body died, a female deer, which had never been seen in the yard before, came to escort her spirit to the spirit world.

That deer was my other fave person, my aunt. I took comfort in that synchronistic spiritual moment at the time, but once her body died, I was crushed. Lilo and my mother-in-law were both born on 10/10. Now they are both together. Losing Lilo and mom broke me. Their loss broke me mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt paralyzed by life.

I couldn’t breathe, sleep, eat, work, and, most importantly, love. My beautiful granddaughter was born a little over a month before my mom-in-law passed away. How can one experience joy and sadness at the same time? I had a Yin and Yang battle going on within me that I had to keep at bay to be strong for my family. I felt like a pressure cooker searching for a release button. The pressure I was experiencing in every cell of my body was of pain and joy, something I’d never felt before.

My heart was crying, my body hurt, and my mind felt like a scrambled computer screen. My spirit was trying to reach me, but I wouldn’t listen. I craved relief from my very uncomfortable emotions from outer life experiences. It was a release button I never found, so I just exploded. I broke down. I was junk. I was no longer available to my family and friends, and clients. I was veiled from my service to spirit and from my loved ones in the spirit world. Then I rediscovered Buddha.

The study and practices of Buddhism and Buddhist tools have helped heal me. The tools of the 4 Noble Truths and practicing the Eight-Fold Path have brought me to a new peace, and no doubt evolved my soul. These truths are the Truth of Suffering, The Truth of the Cause of Suffering, The Truth of the End of Suffering, and The Truth of the Path that Leads to the End of Suffering. The Eight-Fold Path is a path to end suffering. Buddha-his human name Sid-believes that human life is one of suffering. It’s what we do with that suffering that matters.

According to the Buddha, the Noble Eightfold Path consists of Right View, Right Resolve, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration. Through meditation and Buddhist teachings, I have begun to heal.

The most pivotal moment was when I came to know and accept impermanence. Nothing lasts forever except for our spirit and love. This was huge for me. It taught me that the key to my healing is to stay present. Stating present in every moment, the good, bad, happy, and sad. The healing comes from not staying attached.

It takes work. It was the most challenging yet rewarding process, but that’s why it’s called a practice. The tools that Buddhism showed me enabled me to process, let go and grow. I can now live again with the understanding that I’m a medium and help others get through their grief, but I’m also human at the end of the day. I also have this life to live, learn, laugh, love, and cry. My meditation practice also helps with all of the above. Many questions were generated from a survey I took regarding a medium’s loss.

I’ve chosen a couple of questions to answer.

Question. I wonder, is a medium able to visit with your special loss — is it easier to ‘hang out’ with our loved one? Is it even possible?

Or do you just ‘call up’ your loved one at your whim since you can. Please know I ask these questions genuinely and respectfully. Mickey Guil

Answer. I’m in control of when I link with spirit on a regular day. It’s by invitation, almost like a phone call. When grieving, it’s challenging and sometimes not possible to visit due to the energetic close down during grief. In addition, the spirit world decides if they will visit or not, and they will step back to allow their human loved ones to heal/live life.

Question. What’s it like up in heaven since most of my family is in heaven? Can they see us? Do they see the signs I send them? Debbie McGee

Answer. I don’t have any personal accounts of what heaven is like other than the energy I feel. The energy our spirits are restored to is our natural state of no pain or suffering, pure love, and peace. I’ve heard testimony, however, that it’s absolutely beautiful.

Our loved ones in the spirit world/heaven see everything we experience here. They know our thoughts, so signs we send can be as simple as thinking of them, and they are around on their terms in seconds. But, unfortunately, we here on earth sometimes miss signs and symbols they send.

In closing, as a medium, I know when our human temple dies, our spirit transitions back home to the spirit world. We can all call on them, and they will hear us. They will constantly send us signs and symbols of love and light to help guide us on our human life journey. As a human, this knowledge is definitely comforting, but it doesn’t help with losing a loved one or grieving. That is an individual human process. The key is don’t become attached to any single moment in life and remain present. Live life happily and to the fullest.

Author:

Deborah Livingston

As seen on ABC, CBS, FOX, MSN, NBC and WBZ news networks, Television Show 6th Sense and Beyond and featured on the cover of OM Times Magazine, Deborah Livingston is an award winning, internationally recognized psychic medium, animal communicator, and Spiritual Mentor.

Born with tremendous spiritual gifts and abilities, Deborah is blessed with the gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience of Spirit, clairaudience, and psychic premonitions. She views these gifts as a natural, sacred communication through Spirit to Spirit, a bridge between two worlds by linking with an eternal energy of love and light. Deborah is a Shaman, a psychic investigator, a spiritual circle facilitator who also teaches workshops, and she serves as a Spiritualist in churches.