With the impending approach of Pink Shirt Day, I’ve had a lot to think about. Pink Shirt Day, February 22, 2023, is a day for bully awareness and anti-bully activities.

There’s a lot of effort being put into the bully problem that plagues our world, but there is still a long way to go. I began thinking about how I, a bullying survivor in my own right, could possibly help. Here it is. An open letter to all the kids out there who are still struggling every day.

Dear Wonderful Kid,

You are a Valuable Human Being.

Whoever you are and whatever your circumstances, you are a valuable human being. You were put in this world for a reason and you have a wonderful life ahead of you. You have things to offer the world that you may not even be aware of, yet. You deserve to be treated kindly and with respect. Always.

People may say awful things about you, but you will decide what kind of person you are. You will decide what kind of life you’re going to live and how you’re going to live it. They have no control over that. The power is in your hands. Nothing anybody can say can change who you know you are.

What They are Doing is Wrong

First and foremost, they are wrong. You are not stupid or ugly or worthless or any of the other awful things those kids at school are saying about you. They are lying, but did you know that when they behave like that, it actually says more about them than you? There is something going on in their lives that make them think they need to tell lies about others to succeed or be accepted. That’s on them, not you.

Remember, there is nothing you can do or say to bring bullying upon yourself or to deserve it. It is always wrong in every situation.

You are Entitled to Feel Safe and Self-Defend

You are entitled to feel safe and protected every day. You are allowed to defend yourself. You are never entitled to bully back or hurt anybody else in any way. Underline this, please.  Violence is never okay in any form. But you also don’t need to hang your head and willingly take abuse. The trick is to learn the safe and effective ways of dealing with it. There are so many resources available to learn the best ways to safely deal with bullying. Take advantage of these things.

If you are being badly threatened or abused, it’s okay to walk away. You are not obliged to be abused or mistreated by anyone and walking away can be a form of self defense. It’s far better than picking a fight.

Something Can be Done About It

You may be told there’s not much that can be done about it. This isn’t true. There is something teachers can and should be doing about it, even if they didn’t personally witness the incident. If they’re not, go to your parents, the school board, or, if it’s serious enough, the police. You have the right to a safe classroom.

You Don’t Have to Believe the Myths

You’ve probably heard things like “kids will be kids”, “everyone goes through this”, and “it’s just a part of growing up”. Yes, lots of kids get bullied and it’s a problem that’s been around for generations, but that doesn’t make it okay. If anyone tells you it does or that this proves that it’s no big deal, they’re wrong. They are also wrong if they suggest you “develop a thicker skin”. Yes, you will develop the strength to deal with life’s challenges and difficulties, but no one needs to develop a tolerance to being abused and mistreated.

Some people will tell you it’s not really a problem as long as you haven’t been physically harmed. Sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you and all that. That’s also not true. Words can burn deeper than bruises, and they always last longer. You have the right to get through the day without insults or threats. You have the right to get through school without feeling shame or embarrassment.

And Always Remember…

No matter who you are, You. Do. Not. Deserve. This.

From,

A concerned friend who’s been where you are.