The moments of shift and change in our lives- are the moments that hold the key to our evolution. There’s a quote I heard somewhere – the where evades me, but it goes as follows

We are constantly becoming.

Every struggle and every challenge holds the key to our becoming. I know this to be true. How do we get from the struggle to the “evolving,” The next step in the process? Part of it is understanding what phase of life we are in. There is a cycle of birth, death, and re-birth in our lives. Blame it on my neuro-spicy brain, but in my 20’s I realized that our lives exist within cycles. Whether that cycle is the birth and death cycle, or the cycle of seasons where spring is a time of growth and flourishing. Winter is the time in a cycle or our lives as a whole when things hibernate, we slow down to process, we move slower, and we go inside to rest. This is not to say that it is necessarily literal. Simply put, when are times in our lives where everything is flourishing, and times in our lives when there are endings, and death of cycles, of ways of being, or even the ending of habits.

Letting Go

When things are ending, our go-to will be survival, toto start anything in order to avoid that ending, the winter within a cycle. It has been my experience that the more you fight it- the harder it will be. So in terms of evolving, much of what this period entails is letting go. Letting go of old ways of being, releasing what no longer serves us. Now, this is hard for the ego. The ego wants to hold on for dear life. It wants to control and to dictate the terms of it’s experience.

Allowing

This is where all those spiritual gurus were right, we must enter into a space of allowing. We must allow things to leave our lives. The things that leave our lives, always leave for a reason. The person, place, or thing nofitsnger fits in our lives, the life that we’re entering into, the person we are becoming. So we must allow the things that leave our life to leave us with gratitude for the space they held in our lives.

Grief

During the process of releasing and saying goodbye to the parts of you that can no longer come along for the ride in the next stage or level of your life emotions will arise. This is a process not for the weak at heart, every ending comes with some level of grieving. Whether it’s the relationship, the job, or even the part of yourself that has been with you for the longest time. Grieving the loss is part of this journey- the elements that meant something in your life. And sometimes the most painful part of our lives is the goodbyes that deal with having outgrown an aspect of our former world. Allow yourself the time, space, and love that you need to go through the grieving process. We must give ourselves and others grace at this time.

Sacrifice

Every new stage in our lives requires some kind of sacrifice. If it’s marriage we sacrifice our singledom and independence. If it’s graduate school it’s our leisure time. Every new version of us requires that we release some aspect of our old selves so that we may step into the lives we are building. It is the process of maturation. This reminds me of the quote we must burn all the bridges to our old selves to rise to the person we are meant to be.

Showing Up

Okay, let’s be honest sometimes it is the showing up that is the most difficult part. It requires hefty amounts of vulnerability from us. We must step into our light. It is the final step in the process. It looks like moving to a different country, or going to that interview that we feel is beyond the scope we’ve ever reached for. It requires not only vulnerability but also great fortitude to not go back on your word to yourself. This is the point where many people get scared and go back. But this is the most important step. After all is said and done it is going through the door that levels you up, expands you, and brings you out of that comfort zone and into the new life you have worked hard to enter.

During this process, there will be moments of being unsure of your next step, but trust in the synchronicity of your life. Things will fall into place. Magical people will show up to help. It is in effect the Hero’s Journey. Events will unfold and as The Alchemist said, “Events (and the Universe) will conspire in your favor.”