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April 29, 2023

Finances in a Relationship

So I’ve been with this guy 5 + years.

The 1st year was amazing but then we experienced problems in many ways.

Long story short.

He has a mortgage on his house but has only paid interest on it for the majority of its term.

I rent through a housing association.

We decided he move in here because of our ages etc. I’m in my mid 40s and him late 50s.

So a year ago he did. But he kept his house, paying interest only. Keeping most of his stuff there but bringing to mine what he needs. Clothes, bedside table and chest of drawers.

We agreed at the time he would contribute 150 a month to our home here.

A few months ago he increased this to 200.

Whenever I mention that I would like this to be a more committed and equal relationship he gets defensive and angry at me for bringing it up.

I have now asked if he could contribute to half the household Bill’s at least. He earns double than what I do. He says he can’t afford too and that all I want is for him to sell the house.

He does buy coffee and takeaways for us occaisonally and purchases a few household items such as kettle, toaster, towels, he brought the bed here and an air fryer.

What am I saying wrong ?

It has been almost a year like this & theres no effort that I can see in him making any progress on getting his house ready to sell (he has a huge list of things he needs to do before even putting it on the market) and until its sold he cannot afford to contribute any more to a home here with me.

I don’t feel like he is devoted to a future with me because of these things.

Am I missing a different perspective?

I am feeling a little crazy and he says that I am .

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