Moon in Cancer, Sun in Cancer

The invitation under this open-hearted sky is for us to touch our heart while reading this newsletter. Here is a chance to run past the door of the “mind only.” This double Cancer sky asks for your inner, vulnerable self to surface. Spoiler alert: I may have you in tears by the end of this. Open the door called feelings – live here and let go.

I am such a sensitive soul. I have realized that all the knowledge or spirituality in the world will not subdue my sadness – this planet does not protect those who have so much less than we do. The injustice in our world is simply painful, beyond painful – it is insanely unfair – period. Not to mention death and how much it hurts when those we love leave before it’s their turn.

Too often I hold in my sadness. I do not want to be Debbie Downer. Spiritual work demands that we stay positive. Stay focused, people say – on what is right – and that’s true! It works! However, what I love about the sign of Cancer is the ability to be real, to cry, to care, to touch pain and be affected.

Well, not all Cancers – there are those whose shell has hardened to the point of numbness. Their Water has been frozen. That’s a different kind of Cancer energy. I am not in the category.

Speaking of Cancer, here we go. You may have seen on social media that my dear friend, Rae Ann, passed recently. Of course, I went to honor her life. She is a hero of mine. A mom to four – all of whom adored her, the oldest sister to five – all of whom called her their everything, and she was the secret hero to so many.

She took care of the homeless; she was a caretaker for those less able. That was her profession. She was the partner to the man in my book, Kenny, who spent 27 years in San Quentin Prison in California. He was freed and, luckily, shortly after a year of being home, met Rae Ann.

She took him into her family. They fell in love, and as you can imagine having a woman like her as his partner, his whole world opened up. All at once he had grandkids that called him Papa, a family where she made Thanksgiving dinners and holidays open for everyone who needed a place to go. To so many people, she was – everything. I knew this, but I was in shock at the funeral when so many more than I had known spoke to their adoration. You can bet I was surprised when Kenny turned to me and said, “This is only half of what she did.”

Under this sky, we have the invitation to touch the tale of a woman who embodied the high road of the caretaker. Then life took her from our world – too soon if you ask any of us who knew her. She was only 62.

Ok, so now you are feeling my heart. Welcome to New Moon in Cancer. May we all know those who have us feeling so sad when they leave? People we know who made our lives meaningful by loving us. Those that are the teachers remind us never to give up. Never close your heart. Honor those who you have seen as examples of true love. This has nothing to do with romance; it could be your grandmother, your sister, your neighbor who you just adore. Ask them how you can help.

My role in Rae Ann’s life was to give to her. I had no idea how much she was actually the giver. Lucky me – I got to give to her. You can imagine how much more meaningful that was when I saw how deeply her faith and love went to others.

Under this New Moon, may I suggest a prayer:

Let me know that feelings remind me of how much I care.
Love, stay close to me, allow my heart to be tender – even if it hurts to love.
Remind me to open again, even if I have memories to not do so.

Hurt and love go hand in hand. I worship both flavors. I accept the depth of love as my purpose here. Thank you Rae Ann, for showing me LOVE in ways I didn’t really get until you left. The tears that keep falling are just clues of how much I feel love.

May LOVE follow you around all through time. We will see her again, I just know it.

She is watching me now as I write this newsletter. She has always been with us. As the Hawaiians say – she just changed her address.

So much love is available during this double Cancer sky. To Rae Ann and her new address – watch over those that loved you, we are loving you from a distance but no less than when you were here.