Whenever I find myself in a situation that creates some kind of strong bodily sensation, usually an intense feeling somewhere in my chest, I take a moment to breathe deeply and collect my thoughts.

I was in a shop recently to buy some second hand jeans and the lady behind the counter decided that she didn’t want to exercise her customer service training. So instead of speaking to me politely and respectfully she demanded that I go and get the hanger that I had left in the changing room. In a second I felt the strong sensation inside me rising, a sense of rage and injustice; ‘how dare she talk to me like that’. I had a momentary pause where I mentally weighed up my options and what I wanted to say in response.

I was tempted to tell her to leave the items and walk out, tell her she needed to work on her customer service skills or something else in response. Within that second, I managed to collect my thoughts and respond calmly instead. There was no escalation and no reaction in line with my intense feeling of anger. I simply went to get the hanger and then paid for the items. No drama ensued.

This was only possible because over the last three months I have been working with a therapist to unpack my childhood race trauma. This has allowed me to understand the events and experiences that led me to unconsciously take everything personally and react with anger or rage. Usually meaning that in daily situations there would be a disproportionate reaction.

There are hundreds, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of individuals who have had similar experiences. Now they could find themselves being triggered because they are constantly perceiving hate and disrespect around them. This could lead to feeling a sense of injustice and rage. Not everyone has had the luxury of individual counselling to overcome their race trauma, making it easier to brush things off and not take things personally. I was lucky that I passed the initial assessment which made me eligible for support.

Unless by miracle the government realises that one strategy to help people overcome race trauma is by offering all BAME individuals free therapy and counselling, we could continue to see escalation occurring in everyday situations. This could transfer on a bigger scale. What never made sense to me only six months earlier is now much more understandable. I have both the awareness and the tools to start dealing with the same situations appropriately. Counselling should not be a luxury for only those who can prove that they need support, or those who can afford it. It is a necessary aid to help countless individuals and groups heal from lifetimes of trauma.