Nostalgia and Transformation

A few years ago, the building of an app consumed my days and dreams, then quietly slipped away. Today, I’m reminded that our past creations are as much a part of us as the path they illuminate.

Recently I found myself stumbling onto some video remnants of the app’s beta test. Curiosity led me to press “play,” and suddenly I was transported back to a realm of half-formed ideas and uncharted territory. A cascade of memories and emotions rose in me. The videos held more than visuals; they held the map to a once-abandoned path.

I don’t know why I was watching them because, for a very long time, it was too painful to look at anything related to that project. When I distanced myself, a part of me seemed to collapse, and in my perception, the project suffered a similar fate.

The Evolution of Self: A Journey Unveiled
What I noticed today in watching is that version of me wasn’t quite ready to bring the project through in a way that it would serve as it is meant to. There were still parts and circumstances standing in the way. At times I was watching and thinking ‘Wow, who is that?’.

Yet to this day, that work was the closest I have ever felt to living present + embodied in my Purpose. I felt passionate about the work and fully alive in nurturing and guiding the vision. It was exhilarating and asked me (and continues to) to surrender completely….to let go of any “ideas” I had about what it was or was going to be.

To my dismay and ultimately heartbreak, something beyond my reason and logic pulled me to step away.

Stepping away was the first of two of the deepest initiations of my life.

My ego resisted every part of it.

A Seed of Possibility: Nurturing What Remains
The essence of that passion continues to burn bright within me, woven with my journey of personal growth. I still love and believe in what we were building. I still see and feel it every day. For a while, it felt as if time had stopped when that page turned; like I was stuck “back there” but what I see now is the timelessness—the eternal nature of the spirit of that project.

There is something in that project that isn’t quite complete and I don’t know if the energy and resources will ever come through for it again and yet I am present to that seed being alive in me every day. A genuine mandorla.

This has been a practice in devotion to carrying something in my heart and not yet holding it in my hands. The longer I sit in the waiting, the more my heart expands. This devotion is echoed in my resolve to overcome the obstacles that keep many from accessing the transformation they seek.

Devotion and Purpose
Heartfelt Commitment: Nurturing the Seed
Embedded in the core of the project’s mission was the desire to widen access to transformative tools, ensuring they were financially accessible to all. I have been a consumer and professional in the personal growth space for over ten years and have spent hundreds on single sessions and thousands on longer-term programs. I have also followed a traditional ‘industry standard’ pricing structure for services to clients.

Across the mainstream coaching industry, prices frequently skyrocket, unintentionally creating financial hurdles that keep individuals from reaching the profound transformations they are seeking. When we merely consume information on a surface level, it’s often not truly internalized and woven into the fabric of our being. Although books, podcasts, and seminars provide insights, they lack the soul-ignited transformation that unfolds under the guidance of someone who’s walked the path.

As I stepped away from building the app, I experienced another significant loss immediately after— at a time that coincided with the global pandemic. I quite literally watched all of my own personal resources in terms of trusted people, career, and income fall away. I was thrust deep into what Bill Plotkin calls the Soul Canyon, without resources. Here, was someone who had built a life and career around growth but could not access the support needed to navigate the deepest work of my life.

Collective Psycho-Spiritual Growth
Cultivating Wholeness: A Path to Collective Flourishing
In this swiftly evolving world, there’s an urgent need to address the collective stunting of psycho-spiritual growth, echoing the disconnection from our ancient traditions.

An increasing number of individuals are awakening to significant shifts within themselves and their surroundings, yet they lack the necessary guidance to navigate these changes. In ancient civilizations, elders would lead young tribe members through soul initiation as a fundamental facet of individual maturation. That cultural tradition has been lost yet our innate ties to it have not. Our collective, malaise, grief, apathy, anxiety, angst, etc., is a result of the stunting of our individual, and correspondingly our collective psycho-spiritual growth. The animus mundi is in its descent.

When life unexpectedly initiates us on a soul journey, our external reality trembles under the weight of the shifting tides. The ground we once stood on crumbles, we can no longer anchor in our old lives nor rely on our old strategies.

The initiation of the soul and the fostering of wholeness create essential cornerstones of humanity’s evolution. Currently, we have a bottleneck of individuals stuck in their development. There are a number of reasons for this however a primary cause is due to lack of access to resources which stems from: 1. lack of awareness of the next steps in the developmental process and therefore a lack of seeking out soul guides (resulting in looping or unending wandering on the path) 2. lack of financial accessibility to mentors that can provide guidance through a soul initiatory process.

In the pursuit of fostering transformative growth and guiding soul initiations, there lies a profound opportunity to embrace a regenerative model that seamlessly weaves personal evolution with broader social and environmental well-being. Within this vision, a harmonious blend of principles emerges, drawing inspiration from the concept of ‘Satsang’. Satsang is a gathering or assembly of individuals who come together to engage in discussions, teachings, meditation, prayers, and other practices that lead them toward spiritual growth, self-realization, and a deeper understanding of the ultimate truth or reality. This modern interpretation establishes a communal sphere that surpasses cultural confines, extending an invitation to individuals from diverse backgrounds to engage in shared wisdom and collective growth. Much like the essence of Satsang encourages seekers to gather in a nurturing group setting for mutual reflection and learning, this approach mirrors this spirit.

Through accessible guidance and mentorship offered on a low-cost or sliding scale, we dismantle the financial barriers that often obstruct the path of those embarking on soul journeys. This holistic approach not only empowers individuals but resonates with the regenerative ethos by fostering a supportive community, advocating for social equity, and honoring the interconnected web of our environment. By interweaving accessible guidance with regenerative principles, we cultivate a world of personal growth, collective flourishing, and restoration, weaving a new narrative that embodies inclusivity, authenticity, and the timeless wisdom of shared soul work.

Embracing the Dance of Uncertainty:
Illuminating Paths of Passion and Purpose
In the dance between nostalgia and transformation, I’ve uncovered threads that weave together the tapestry of my past and present. These videos, these pixels etching memories, they’ve become more than just records of a venture. They’re the fragments of a path illuminated by passion and purpose. As we navigate the soul’s uncharted territories, we’re reminded of the unyielding connection between personal transformation and collective healing. As I continue nurturing the seed of that unfinished project, I invite you to explore the landscapes of your own journey, bridging the realms of past and future. For in each step, we usher in a new dawn, casting the possibility of an era defined by growth, unity, and a commitment to the ever-unfolding story of our lives.

We are the stewards of humanity, ushering in a new era.