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I’m turning a year older on July 29th, and this birthday feels less comfortable than the others.

It feels as if I’m dangling in space between two trapeze rings while holding onto the high wire above me for dear life.

I don’t want anything about my life to change, but despite that wish, it’s changing anyway. After all, there are some things in life that you can’t control.

Like time.

In my higher wisdom moments I know that the key to inner peace is to surrender to the cycles of life, let go of the outcome, dance gracefully with the aging process, focus on the present moment, feel grateful for every little and big thing, and most of all, breathe in the quality of acceptance as the ebb and flow of change dance with my days.

Yet, I’m in shock. Where did the time go? Where is the person who rode her three-speed bike across parts of the United States alone (Yes, it was a three-speed bike. See how lucky you are?), stayed in youth hostels, met people from around the world, cooked and sang with strangers, traveled to Israel, Greece, Turkey, and England on her own, hitchhiked, brought her cello abroad and played chamber music with strangers who only spoke the common language of music?

Where is she?

She was unafraid, innocent, open, trusting, full of joy, adventurous, and curious. Is she still in there amid all the aches, pains, doctor visits, and fears she has now? If so, I hope she introduces herself to me again.

The past is a blur, and the present is confusing because a familiar question has somersaulted back into my mind:

“What do I want to be when I grow up?”

I’m also feeling confused, negatively surprised, and mildly shocked lately. Here’s the problem. My true nature is always in touch with my playful inner child, but when I look in the mirror, I see a face and a body that doesn’t match what I feel inside. Except for my twinkling eyes. I still see that mischievous and adventurous twinkle in my eyes at times. I still feel the glow of optimism, idealism, peace, love, and hope that I felt when I was younger. I guess I just need to dance with these qualities more often.

As I look at myself in the mirror, I think:

“What in the world is going on, Universe? I feel younger than I look. I act younger than I look, too. Spirited, fun loving, and full of joy. Is this some kind of joke? Don’t mess with me and don’t judge a book by its cover. As a perfectly imperfect human being, I still love to sing, perform, teach, write, and create late into the night. I’m still strong, determined, persistent, resilient, creative, and discovering new parts of myself. All that is not going away anytime soon no matter how fast the clock is ticking. 

There. I told the universe off, didn’t I? But the joke may be on me because for the first time in my life, I am floundering a bit more than usual. I’d love to continue all the joyful paths I’ve nurtured over the years. I want nothing more than to share my wisdom, honor all my gifts, discover new parts of myself, be even more visible, internally free, healthy in mind, body, and spirit, and continue to contribute to the well-being of our one precious world.

As my book, Heart-Dreamer says, “Free yourself to be yourself!”

As I go through my contemplative questioning, I hear the wisdom whispers of my third eye intuitive knowing saying:

“Breathe, open your heart, trust, and when an illuminating opportunity bursts forth, step into it with courage. No more hiding. No more making yourself small. Step into your butterfly spirit, and soar!”

The good thing about being old is that I just don’t have any more time to hold back and hide parts of myself. It’s now or never, everyone. Shyness, be gone! Fear, be gone!

Whatever good opportunities call my name and yours, let’s take our inner child by the hand and say, “Let’s go have some fun together.”

>> Explore who you are even more deeply than before.

>> Leap into new adventures.

>> Don’t let youth, middle age, or old age stop you.

>> Worry less.

>> Laugh more.

>> Be less fearful.

>> Enjoy precious moments of solitude.

>> Invite stimulating connection and conversations with people of all ages, stages, and belief systems.

>> Imprint gratefulness as your constant mantra.

>> Be fully present for each moment and offer your full presence to others, too.

>> Be the peace and the changes you want in the world.

I am open to the magical mystery of the unknown, and when I feel a resounding yes in the core of my being, I follow those whispers, signs, cues, and clues from the universe as my life compass. I did that when I was 20, and I will do it in my elder years, too. No matter what. Bring on delight, universe, bring it toward me. I’m ready. More than ready.

Seventy-eight years ready.

As Prime Minister Golda Meir said with her no-nonsense realism, “My dear, old age is like an airplane flying in a storm. Once you’re in it there’s nothing you can do.”

In meditation we are reminded to feel the whole of all our feelings, so with that in mind, feeling lost, in shock, confused, and uncomfortable is okay. I will sit with all these feelings, recognize them as such, and when and if they pass by or dissipate, other feelings might take their place:

>> Celebration!

>> Gratefulness!

>> Amazement!

>> New purposes!

>> Giving and receiving more love to myself and to others.

In the silence, I trust, and when I least expect it, a multitude of new possibilities will unfold. There will be adventures that are so amazing that even I, the dreamer of dreams, will be surprised and delighted by it all.

Oh, oh. Here comes my alter-ego to challenge that statement. “What if your life won’t be filled with glorious dreams and outcomes, Melody? Why are you so afraid of change? After all, it’s part of the cycle of life.”

I think to myself, “What a killjoy,” but I respond to her by saying, “You’re tapping into some of my fears. I’m not sure I like you doing that. The darkness. The shadow side of me. Yes, I’m afraid that life at this stage might bring me events that I don’t want. Illness, death, dementia, Alzheimer’s, diseases, deciding to move and then realizing that we moved to the wrong place, bad decisions, all of it. Aging is no fun sometimes, and there is no way to fully predict my future.

As the “Serenity Prayer” says, “Change what I can and accept what I can’t…and have the wisdom to know the difference.” I’ve always loved that prayer. All I know for sure is that I need to shift my attitude. I am my own worst enemy lately. I seem to be the poster child for the ageism and bias I detest. I must have absorbed society’s attitudes about old people and aging over the years. As former United States Senator, Claude Pepper said, “Ageism is as odious as racism and sexism.”

Perhaps some of us old ones do this ageism thing to ourselves with our thoughts, attitudes, and fears all too often. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time for rebirth and new inspiring power words!

>> I am perfectly imperfect and proud of every inch of who I am. My imperfections make me unique. One of a kind. A diamond in the rough. Not even “in the rough.” A diamond. Sparkling. Precious. Glistening perfection.

>> I age with grace and live each moment with awed appreciation.

>> My 78th year offers me the opportunity to bring the vibration of peace, love, and hope into the world more visibly.

>> My 78th year offers me another chance to learn how to love myself and how to love others with more compassion, forgiveness, humor, empathy, kindness, and gentle hugs.

>> My 78th year is an opportunity to acknowledge how much I have grown from inside out. Despite the obstacles and challenges. Maybe because of them, too.

A Look Back: An Exercise in Self-Acknowledgment, Self-Awareness, and Self-Discovery

Love Note to my readers: Whether you are 20 or 120, please consider doing this healing exercise, too. Many of us keep moving on to the next thing and the next thing after that. Let’s take the time to look back, recapture the memories, and acknowledge where we came from and how far we’ve come.

In the hopefully long last chapter of my life, I want to keep helping to change the world for the better and to continue to grow and heal from inside-out. I have always loved the process of personal growth and self-discovery and everything I’ve ever done has been rooted in passion. Because I listen to the whispers of the universe to guide my way, my creative life has been full of joy and has helped me move through the more personally difficult times in my life.

Ages 30-45: I created my own music school for babies through age six. I sang, danced, told stories, did puppet shows, ignited their imagination, and nurtured their hearts. And mine, too. I also got in touch with the lightness, humor, playfulness, and joy that was buried within my own inner child. My actual childhood was serious and anything but playful.

Thank you, universe. I am so blessed.

Ages 45-55: When my highest intuition told me that it was time to record and perform the new songs that came through me, I recorded nine albums that are available on any music streaming service under the name, “Cheryl Melody.” It is still amazing to me that my music floats around all over the world. Songs that came through me at traffic lights, while rowing a boat on Squam Lake in New Hampshire, on a long car ride on the way to see my mom in Vermont, everywhere. I didn’t even know I could compose, and then…magic! They aren’t ordinary songs. They are deep message songs. Some for children. Some for adults. Songs that help little and big people alike find more inner peace, laughter, kindness, self-esteem, calmness in the chaos of life, healing, and love.

Thank you, universe. I am so blessed.

Age 46 to present: When I was asked to make these songs come alive by performing them, I immediately knew that this person’s request was “meant to be,” and in the stillness of the night with my eyes still closed, I created three concerts that intertwined music, movement, storytelling, instruments, interactive participation, and messages of love, self-esteem, kindness, respect, peace, imagination, and joy. I went anywhere someone would ask me to go to deliver my “Peace Begins with You and Me” concerts, “The Musical Imagination Adventure” concerts, and my sound healing “Opening your Heart to Love” concerts.

Thank you, universe. I am so blessed.

Age 70 to present: I heard a wisdom whisper from the magical mystery of life that it was time to write books that could help people heal, and to that end, I have had the honor of exploring that side of me, too. Personal growth, self-healing, award-winning books. Messages that can make a positive difference in a person’s life.

Peace Dreamer: A Journey of Hope in Bad Times and Good

Heart-Dreamer: Stepping into Life, Love, Creativity and Dreams – No Matter What

Shift of Heart: Paths to Healing and Love

Peace Begins with You and Me 

And this May, I released an audiobook version of my book, Heart-Dreamer, in which I narrated and sang for the entire project!

Exciting. Pure joy. Thank you, Universe. I am so blessed.

Despite all I’ve just shared, I still feel as if I’m still not fully stepping into all parts of myself. I hold back. Mostly due to the shyness I’ve had ever since I was little.

If you relate to this in your own life, I have a few “look within” questions:

>> How can we stop hiding all the dimensions of who we are once and for all?

>> How can we stop hiding the delicious parts of ourselves?

>> How can we overcome our shyness, fear of failure and success, and feelings of inadequacy?

>> Have we fully uncovered and discovered all our gifts? Maybe we could make a list together.

>> Can we define ourselves as successful even if we haven’t made money from what we do?

>> How about redefining the word “success”?

>> How can we overcome the perfection syndrome? We don’t need to be perfect or know how to do something perfectly before we do it.

>> Are we courageous enough to show all our gifts to the world without holding back? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best thing that could happen?

>> Can we suspend our inner critic and judge, go out there in the world, and be more visible than ever before?

 Let’s all spread our wings out to its widest expanse and fly.

Last week, I had a breakthrough moment about “what I want to be when I grow up” and found a direction. I went back to singing. Not only did I go back to singing, but I shared my songs on Facebook. One of the most important songs I shared is called, “I’m Still Here.”

I’m still here.

I’m still here.

I’m still here.

No matter what.

It’s a four-sentence chant that is here to help us acknowledge that the most important power sentence of all is “I’m Still Here.”

No matter what challenges we are going through, you and I are still here—no matter what.

My Three Birthday Wishes.

So, in the spirit of still being here, I leave you with my three birthday wishes. Besides peace. Peace is always on the top of my list and a given. Love, too. Always, love.

1. When you hear my chant, “I’m Still Here” on the video at the end of this article, sing these four lines with me. Acknowledge all you have gone through and all the challenges you have transcended. Look in the mirror. Yes. It’s You. Beautiful you. Miraculously, you are still here because of your courage, fortitude, strength, resilience, and strong will. You’re doing your best. Go easy on yourself. Be gentler, infinitely patient, full of gratitude, and more and more loving to your perfectly imperfect self, and I will do this, too.

2. Help me “ban” ageism. Be mindful of all the times you think of aging with preconceived bias. I remember having ageist thoughts when I was 20. How I “should” be at that age. What I “should” be doing. I remember having ageist thoughts about old people, too. Don’t make assumptions about what you are “supposed” to be at any age.

Ageism is rampant and it is rearing its ugly head in the political arena and in everyday life. Help someone who is up there in years still feel visible, vital, valued, and honored. Be aware of any ageism going on within you and in the world and help put an end to it by changing your own attitude about your own aging process.

Give people who are in the final chapter of their lives a broader definition of their worthiness.

Just because they forget a word or need more naps or their gait is slower than yours doesn’t mean they have less expertise, wisdom, and life lessons to share.

Value all people. Especially the old ones. Put the spotlight on them. Let them shine. That’s what societies do in other countries. Sadly, not here.

I remember when my mom was a resident in an assisted living setting, I would tell the nurses about her talents. Acting, singing, and writing poetry. I would say to the staff, “Please use her talents. Give her a reason to live. Even if she gets nervous, invite her anyway.” And they did. She read stories and poetry aloud to the residents, she and I sang for everyone at community gatherings, and she did a solo performance of her original poetry at 95 years old. And, by the way, she didn’t even know she could write poetry until she was 93.

You never know what hidden talents are waiting to be discovered no matter what age you are.

3. My third wish is that I am given the blessings of passion, energy, health, and abundant opportunities to step into all of who I am this year. I’d like to become even more visible, share my intuitive wisdom, and be the role model for all that is good in the world. I want to continue to be a high vibrational energy force for peace, love, and hope, create a balance between doing and being, and most of all, keep spreading love, being love, and shining love.

Let’s open our hearts, trust, and listen to the subtle whispers, cues and clues from the universe for our next steps in life. Then, as the song lyrics say in the Wizard of Oz, “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”

No holding back. No hiding. No stuffing your light, talents, and truth. No age limits on you or on others, and most of all, celebrate the fact that…

You and I are still here—no matter what!

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*When I’ve written about my birthday in previous articles, it was a joy to share my accumulated wisdom, the many life lessons I’ve learned, and the smorgasbord of feelings swirling within me. For your reference, here are some of my articles from the last few years:

My Upcoming Birthday: Conflicting Emotions, New Beginnings & 70+ Years of Wisdom.

7 Life-Changing Lessons to Learn from a 70-Something.

Singing my Mother Home with Love.

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