I’m banning myself from reading anymore yoga, health or happiness blogs.

I’m ignoring the incessant spamming from life coaches, naturopaths and other wellness professionals.

I’m clicking “hide” and “unsubscribe” to block the daily bombardment of “inspirational life quotes” from my newsfeed.

I’m breaking up with Twitter and then I’m un-following people on instagram.

Someone needs to call it.

No more quinoa recipes, positive affirmations or “love yourself” watery diatribes. It’s really f*cking simple; just do the things you enjoy and make you happy.

There was a time in my life when the affirmations, life quotes and recipes did make me happy, but recently I’ve found myself getting lost in a sea of chia-seed appreciation groups, love hearts and Rumi quotes. This non-stop bombardment of information feels more like a fancy marketing strategy than a from-the-heart form of connection and communication.

Call me cynical, but I promised myself I would be more discerning with what messages I allow in and consume.

It’s crazy, but after reading post after post of inspirational quotes, or daily insights followed by images of people leaping into the air or mediating at the beach intertwined with cross product/service promotion, I kind of want to throw-up in my mouth a little.

Why complicate things with more dogma, more do’s and dont’s? Don’t do this, don’t eat that, meditate, sing, dance, dry-hump a yoga teacher blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong, I loooovvve yoga, meditation and, on the odd occasion, would be totally up for dry-humping a yoga teacher. If you like, or want something, and it isn’t against the law, or has the potential to hurt others, I say go for it. I just don’t want to be saturated with stories of “self discovery” about it.

I really believe that we a suffering from an oversupply of well-meaning, but uppity teachers and wellness professionals who suffer from a rockstar complex. They may as well tattoo “I’m a rockstar, people pay attention and listen to me” on their foreheads.

It’s a freaking epidemic and it’s all over your newsfeed and spamming your inbox right now. So teachers, while I value your insights and your wisdom, I’m done with your chia-seed recipes, overused stock images and random quotes.

Show me something real: give me something of value, show me what makes you an individual, what makes you tick, your darkness, your light, your strength, your joy. Show me why you even bothered to become a teacher in the first place. Just don’t give me mainstream feel-good bullsh*t.

Don’t give me this watered down version of new-age spirituality.

Don’t cross promote your sister, your brother, your friend or your mom’s product, or service unless it’s extremely relevant, or you yourself have tried it and truly, hand-on-heart believe in it.

It’s not good enough, and the people who click ‘like’ or ‘subscribe’ deserve better than that.

Do not use the word “authentic” unless you truly are, and if you post a photo of the green smoothie you had for breakfast I will personally punch you in the face.

Tanya Maria Mah is a designer, an occasional seeker of all things true, a yogi, a hippie (not a hipster), a teeny-tiny disco dancer, a sometimes-cook and an eternal optimist. She can be creative, is frequently inappropriate and aspires for inspiration. When asked for a bio she Facebook polled her friends for one word that describes her and they came up with the following: loves hearts, crazy (this was mentioned a few times!), sunshine, bubbly, meatball, mcskank  (personal joke), excitable, spunky monkey, delicious, pixie and charismatically crazy (a new spin on an old favorite!) To get in touch, please email [email protected].

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Editor: Thaddeus Haas

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