The holidays can be challenging for the generational curse breakers of the family.
You’re either putting yourself in environments that bring up your triggers or feeling guilty for distancing yourself, setting boundaries, and bringing up topics no one wants to discuss.
Here are some tips to not only cope, but thrive during this holiday season:
Validate Yourself
In all truth, your family is probably not going to do it. They likely will not validate the inner work you’re doing. Breaking cycles, healing ancestral wounds, and creating new patterns is hard, often thankless work. In fact, some family members may view you as weird, difficult, or toxic. And who knows, maybe a bit of that is true—but it doesn’t negate the work you are doing.
Their opinions don’t define you. Remind yourself of your progress. Tell yourself you’re proud, even when the path feels uncertain. Your self-recognition matters more than anyone else’s validation. When you truly see yourself, it’s more fulfilling than external approval could ever be, if you allow it to.
Understand that if no one else sees you, you see you. Your understanding and affirmation are more powerful, and you need them more than the validation another could give you.
Rewrite the Narratives
Consider rewriting the stories you tell yourself about your family.
Some current narratives you might have are:
>> My family never gets me
>> They will never change
>> They don’t appreciate me
>> Why me
When we hold others to these limits, we hold back the possibility of them shifting in our reality. The way people show up for us as adults is based on what we allow and what role we assign them.
For example, you might have a fear and wound around letting yourself be heard. You want to be heard, but it feels unknown, and we fear something bad will happen, so we let a family member hold the role of someone who always interrupts us. It’s the ego’s tricky way of keeping us small.
Instead, an empowering narrative you can tell yourself is:
“They no longer interrupt me because I no longer hold them and myself trapped in that narrative. I set both of us free. I have valuable things to say that others want to hear. Most importantly, I want to hear myself.”
Here are some additional new scripts that are more generalized:
>> My family thinks I’m unique and they see my value.
>> My ancestors are so proud of the work I’m doing.
>> As I create new patterns, I create space for my family to make new choices.
>> People are starting to understand me more and more because I understand myself.
>> I see my family’s strength and love more than I see their weaknesses.
>> I no longer judge them and myself; therefore, there is no longer a purpose in them judging me.
>> There is an abundance of space for things to shift for the better.
Think about how you have been using others as crutches to keep yourself small.
If you’re up for it, I challenge you to engage with your family in a new way with these new stories. You no longer need to hold yourself to outdated dialogue that no longer serves you or them.
If old behaviors or triggers arise, take a breath. Remind yourself:
“That’s the old narrative. I’m choosing a new story, and I reaffirm the opportunity for everything to shift.”
Invite New Family In
This might be the season to take a break, create distance, or even expand your definition of family.
Consider accepting invitations from new people in your life or attending holiday events to connect with others. Engage in a holiday tradition you’ve never done before or attend a holiday event to meet new people.
Our families are a blessing and are irreplaceable. But there is something different about choosing a family based on who you know yourself to be now, along with the expansion and healing you’ve done.
You deserve to be loved by people who are a reflection of your alignment and values, and that is not always your existing family. This doesn’t mean there isn’t space for your existing family, but that you can create even more space for them when you are being filled up by people who give you reciprocal energy and even help you navigate those relationships.
Set an intention to meet your chosen family this holiday season and watch the universe amaze you. Most likely, you’ll meet other curse breakers like yourself who can relate to you and support you.
As you navigate this holiday season, remember that you are the architect of your reality. The work you’re doing is sacred and transformative, not just for you, but for those who came before you and those who will come after.
Be proud of your courage to break cycles, create new paths, and honor your evolution. You are seen, you are loved, and you are supported by yourself, your ancestors, and the universe.
This holiday season, choose yourself, choose growth, and choose joy. You deserve nothing less.
~
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