Warning: the below is graphic, but the Dalai Lama didn’t actually say these words…the below quotes came through his translator, and are just the closest approximation we can make.

Yesterday the Dalai Lama appears to have lost his cool in line at Starbucks. He appears to have just put up with too much bullsh*t, for too long.

Dalai Lama in altercation in line at a Starbucks. He’d just had enough. A man can only take so much.

While troubling, this incident comes as further proof that we’re all human—none of us are gods, which backs up Buddhism’s view regarding non-theism.

So I’m in line at Starbucks. Got a long day working the peace angle so I want my vanilla latte. The line is long and some yuppie is dithering up front about whether to get a scone or a muffin or something.

And then I get this news alert on my iPhone, you know, about China calling me the devil and saying I dared to want independence for my people.

And I was like, what? I’ve talked about working with China peacefully, Tibet remaining a part of China for like 40 years!? Jesus.

And then I’m finally up front and the waitress barista lady gets my drink fucked up. I was like, gaddamn, I get the same gaddham chai piece of @^&@&@ !I!(!*@&# every mother@*!*((#&$ morning, !)!(*#*#*>?! And she was like, ahahaha, I thought you were Buddhist and peaceful. So I give her the peace sign minus one finger and I said !@#*&!&@^@^ you!

You know, I’m kind of a big deal. At least get me my drink right, you know?

…Happy April Fools’ Day!

Nothing we shared this morning was true. All of it had truth in it.

April Fool’s Day, once a year? Never! I know it’s “cool” to hate on April Fool’s, these days, but it’s wise to be foolish—& gosh knows the world needs one uncancelable day. Unconditionally Cheerful April the First.

Re the Dalai Lama: