I Threw Away My Grounding Essence.

For years I’ve been buying the lie myth that I need to be “grounded.”

I’m too airy-fairy and I need to get real.

I was the “weird” one, I was the special project for the body-workers and spiritual healers (early death in an alternatively spiritual family anyone?) and so a good grounding essence should definitely be a daily practice for me.

Supposedly a grounding essence would literally bring me down to earth, my thought was—I live on it, how much closer do I need to be? However, I followed that advice blindly for four years or so listening to these masters who were obviously wiser and more desirable than me in their heavily grounded authority.

Because now that I’m grounded, blindly wandering along the supposedly crystal clear path to enlightenment, joy and all that jazz, I won’t get so many ideas or have so many tangents to my life.

Say what?

I’m an infinite being and you’re saying that I can’t fill my life with as many fun possibilities and tangents in my life?

Luckily someone clever handed me a weapon. A clever tool that awoke me to question and ask myself what was true for me—not the entire world or the glorious “they.” That’s right goddamned so ungrounded she cuts her legs off (???) flighty, airy-fairy Me.

I could see the lie that they were presenting me with and also how I had eaten it all up like a good girl who wants dessert, not knowing that for me, dessert was up in the stars surrounded by lightness.

What I found out was that being fast (most commonly referred to as fickle or not serious) and having many different tangents in my life so I can have infinite amounts of fun, is a wrongness in this reality, but true for me. What that meant for me was that I could be me. I didn’t have to apologize for running a coaching business, writing a book, dancing on cruise ships, travelling the world and helping out with the family business all at the same time.

And most importantly I realized this whole grounded thing didn’t work for me.

Other teachers thought I should be grounded because in their reality being full of so much lightness and the capacity to change quickly is scary and unsafe. For them, grounded was safety and caring. For me, it was a stake tying me to the bottom of the ocean. And with this tool I could stop buying their point of view.

How does it get any better than that?

So what does this mean for you? We are all looking for truth and what I’ve recently learnt is that “See the light” is actually true. What’s true for you will feel light and expansive and what is a lie for you will feel heavy and contracted.

Note: This is about you (yay finally.) What’s true for you may not be for someone else. Neither is wrong or better, just different.

I also discovered that if someone were trying to lie to me, this sensation similar to anger would come up. It was the infinite part of me that could sense the lie and was yelling at me for my attention. So if someone spiritual is stirring you up and getting under your skin you could ask: “Is this person lying to me?” and if it’s not light, you know it’s not true for you.

What’s so cool about this tool is that it’s not just for one thing and its super quick. Are my kids lying to me? Or if making a choice which possibility feels lighter? And truth, have you given up your knowing in favor of some spiritual Guru that is making your life heavy and contracted? You may not have been stuck with grounding essence like I was, but is something else equally heavy and annoying sticking you?

Danielle La Porte did a great post on Guru’s where she quoted William Butler Yeats:

“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches of the same tree.”

~ WB Yeats

This is your invitation to give it up and refund the point of view you bought. It’s also an invitation to honor and allow in the Guru you are. If you are in awareness and are willing to only take the truth for you from others (like this blog post) I wonder what your life would be like.

Throwing away my grounding essence and being willing to ask what would be light for me opened up my life to so much fun, easy and joy. S

ince that moment I have written two eBooks, completely revolutionized my coaching practice and introduced myself to incredible amounts of fun. I wonder what else would be possible for you?

I would love to know what you thought of this article or what your proverbial grounding essence is so let me know in the comments below.

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Assistant Editor: Gabriela Magana/Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Jacopo Werther