Women can be bitches.

I think I have cried more times because of something a woman said about me than I have because of something a man said to me or about me. We are always seeking out ways to make our relationships with our significant others more meaningful, but how often do we work on our friendships with other women?

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

~ Madonna

Women understand that it’s a cat-eat-cat world. That’s why we can be so catty.

But, regardless of all the cat scratch fever going on, it’s important to cultivate friendships with women we admire and trust. But how? How do we find and keep female friends without succumbing to jealousy, competition, or other toxic feelings? I’ve always struggled to have lasting female friendships, but the few that I do have are the best relationships…they are crucial to our happiness as women.

So, one girl to another, I brainstormed ways to keep and cultivate lasting female friendships.

Here they are:

1. Don’t get taken advantage of.

If you have a friend who only uses you or only wants to talk or hang out when it is convenient, that friend may be adding stress to your life. Confront her or ease your way out of the relationship.

2. Beware of chicks who suck the emotional life out of you.

If she uses you are a dumping ground for everything negative that is going on in your life, the friendship may not be beneficial to you anymore.

3. Likewise, do not dump your negative energy onto one friend all the time.

Treat friends the way you would want to be treated, and make an effort to do positive, fun things with her/them!

4. Don’t say bad things about one friend to another friend in the friend circle.

This always ends badly! We have to be fair and equal with all our friends. Cultivate positivity! Say good things about the other friends.

5. Don’t be shy! Compliment other women and reach out to them.

If you see a girl somewhere and you think she is awesome, then reach out to her! If you’re jealous of the girl at the gym, maybe reaching out to her would make you realize that she is totally down-to-earth and ready to play. We never know what someone is going to be like until we find out for ourselves.

6. Do your best to be there for friends when they really need it.

If a friend is sick, bring her soup and flowers. Wake up in the middle of the night and go over to a friend’s house if she texts you and is upset about a breakup. Whatever it is, sometimes we need our friends and they need us…girlfriends are supposed to be there for each other always!

7. Do occasional things to reignite your girlfriendship. Challenge each other!

Maybe y’all go on a trip to Mexico. Maybe you sign up for a triathlon together. Or maybe you’ll unite all your friends and go to a private yoga class together or make a fancy dress-up dinner. Whatever it is, make it fun for everyone. You will emerge from your trip, event, etc. with a renewed sense of love for your girlfriends. You’ll grow and become stronger together.

8. Love yourself and don’t judge your girlfriends.

If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love other girls without having tinges of jealousy. That’s it.

9. Get over the ex-girlfriends in your guy’s life.

He is with you because he loves you. If he is still friends with them, then perhaps if you meet them you’ll feel less jealous and weird about the situation. Definitely make boundaries for yourself and figure out what works with you and your guy, but try and compromise. Maybe you’ll get a new friendship out of the whole thing!

10. Make sure that you are happy.

If a friendship is not benefiting you in some way, then be truthful with yourself and the girlfriend about it. Maybe you can save the friendship. Maybe you can’t.

Happy girlfriendship! May we all reach a common understanding and harness our divine feminine energy together!

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Editor: Bryonie Wise