Valentine’s Day may be over, but the topic of love remains very much in the air.

Sadly, much discussion lately has had to do with lost love. I don’t know whether it’s a result of the unrealistically high expectations of Valenetine’s Day, the record-breaking cold weather we’ve been having around these parts, or something entirely different. But anecdotally speaking, it seems a lot of people around me are ending relationships.

While my personal philosophy has always been that it’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship, it’s nonetheless sad to see them end (I feel that way even when it comes to those relationships that I think end for the better). When I’ve been in that boat, I have found that rather than ignore my feelings and force myself to be happy, it’s far better to take some time and grieve (when I grieved, I actually recovered a lot more quickly than when I didn’t allow myself to do so).

As cliché as it sounds, listening to music helped me a lot. While on the surface, I am a bit embarrassed to admit this (because it seems like something I should have left behind in high school along with Lycra bodysuits, 90210 hairstyles, and whatever else was trendy the year I graduated), I nonetheless feel that music can be a great healer.

Thanks to smartphones and iPods, no one even has to know what you’re listening to. If you want to break out the cheesy songs, then by all means, bring on the cheese and double it if you wish: This is your time to grieve, after all. While there are a number of songs out there that can help you through it all, the ones below are some personal favorites of mine.

Feel free to add to my playlist to make it your own:

1.“You Really Got a Hold on Me” by She & Him

Composed of musician M Ward and actress Zooey Deschanel, She & Him has been around since 2006. Fans of Deschanel probably are aware of the fact that she can sing, but her talent really shines on this acoustic cover of the Smokey Robinson & The Miracles classic (likewise, Ward’s backing vocals are a perfect accompaniment). While the original is a classic, I love that this version is sung by a woman since I always thought of this as more of a woman’s song than a man’s.

2. “She’s Got You” by Patsy Cline

The late and great Miss Cline may have cultivated a brash exterior known as “The Cline” in order to survive as a woman in the very male-dominated world of country music, but her vulnerability really shines through in this song. Although she didn’t write it, it nonetheless became one of her signature songs. What draws me to this song is the simplicity of the theme: The former lover has the picture, ring, records, and other “little things” that were supposed to mean he cared, but the new woman has the one thing the narrator really craves the most: Him. Anyone who has ever been surrounded by objects that belonged to their former love can relate to this song.

That simplicity, along with Cline’s amazing vocals, makes this one of my favorite songs ever.

3. “Fuck The Pain Away” by Peaches

I’m going to be blunt: Sometimes the only way to get your mind off someone is by having someone else on you. Even though I am not a personal fan of rebound sex, just the thought of it can be empowering. Peaches makes no apologies for her unabashed sexuality, and that is a wonderful thing.

4. “Pictures of You” by The Cure

If you’re looking for at least one angsty song, then it doesn’t get any better than this. Despite its use in TV commercials for everything from computers to who knows what, this is one of those songs that makes me tear up every time I hear the opening lyrics: I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you/That I almost believe that they’re real…

Despite the fact it was written in the 80s, I feel it is even more appropriate now than it was then: In this day of social media, there is no escape from photos of our exes. Even if we try to avoid them, chances are that we are going to see them on our newsfeed when we least expect them or when we least want to see them. Now, thanks to digital cameras, the image quality is such that pictures appear more lifelike than ever.

Still, pictures aren’t real, nor can they replace the ones we love, and that is what makes this song so heart-tugging.

5. “Skinny Love” by Bon Iver

Given the upbeat tempo, it’s easy to miss the fact that this song is about a breakup, but it is. In fact, the album that this song is from, For Emma, Forever Ago, was supposedly inspired by a breakup. While there is some debate over what exactly it means, Justin Vernon captures the feeling of being in a relationship that is on its last leg and trapped in an endless cycle of arguing and making up.

Of course, I could be complete misinterpreting the song, but for me, at least, this is always what they will mean:

Music is a magical thing.

It can tame the savage beast and it can help mend a broken heart. While there are many more love songs that those above, the songs I listed will always be my go-to comfort food whenever I find myself in that [heartbroken] boat. While listening to them may not cure one’s blues, they nonetheless may help. At the very least, they stand on their own as good songs, which makes it worth at least giving them a listen.

In any case, here’s to wishing everyone love, whether they currently have someone to share it with or not.

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Editor: Jenna Penielle Lyons

Photo: elephant archives