This summer, I’ve been reading a book that helps us discover what core feelings we wish to experience more of in our lives.

It’s called “The Desire Map,” by Danielle LaPorte.

One key point is not relying on any outside sources to get these feelings. We are in charge of bringing these desired feelings to our lives.

When I was brainstorming the feelings I wish to experience more often, there was one phrase that kept surfacing in most all areas of my life.

I want to feel a sense of ease.

I wondered how I could bring a sense of ease into my life when I don’t have control over most things.

I can’t control when the car won’t start or if an appliance breaks. Certain people in my life are not going to change the way they behave. The weather is unpredictable, and so on.

And feeling ease doesn’t mean only doing things that are easy or familiar, either.

I was contemplating ease when I looked up and saw a bird soaring in the sky. The bird wasn’t putting forth effort to flap its wings and get somewhere—it just soared along in the wind regardless of how hard the wind blew and which direction it was blowing. The bird was not resisting or struggling.

I realize that bringing a sense of ease to my life must come from my perception of things and how I engage with life.

To feel ease, I will have to stop defining what I think I need have happen in my life, which oddly enough really only ends up limiting me.

It’s staying open to whatever happens—no matter what.

Feeling a sense of ease is being in the flow. It’s realizing that I can’t change the past or control the future and allowing the present moment to be whatever it is—and honoring it fully.

It’s also the confidence and trust that whatever is happening is okay and that we are okay.  We can feel ease in our lives by cultivating the ability to objectively observe life with an open heart and mind without judgment.

Instead of greeting life by saying, “What the hell is this?” we can smile and say, “Oh, how interesting!”

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Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: GreyWorld/Flickr