Like most women who didn’t enter into their marriages in piety, I was not a virgin when I met my husband.

Honestly, even if I was, I probably would not have made it to the alter a virgin.

I fell deeply in love very quickly and let’s just say, I couldn’t keep my latest promise to God.

My man and I had fun. We spent weekends in bed, ordering food, and staying up long enough to satisfy each other. It was as amazing as it was damning. We both knew what we were doing was wrong, even though it was soooo good.

Now that we are married, sex has taken on a new form. It is more than just fun. It is transforming.

Everything I thought I’d never be able to do (due to lack of flexibility) God has somehow given me the strength to do.

As weird as it might sound, I think the youth pastor from my old church was right, “Sex is better after you pray!” The euphoric feeling of confirming that we are one sends me over the top every time. The way we touch goes far beyond what I’ve experienced in the past.

According to my current pastor, “Sex is meant for procreation.” Apparently, it is not meant to be enjoyable or done in any other position but missionary. He is right, God says that we must “multiply,” but he also made sex a significant part of marriage.

Sex is the joining of two souls. In the end, you walk away with a piece of that person, which is why sex should only be between man and wife. It is spiritual, not just of the flesh.

I remember discussing sex with another woman from my church and I said that the first form of sex involved God, Adam and Eve. She considered me a weirdo from that point on, but she wasn’t able to see past the negative connotation of sex and, frankly, she was stuck-up and judgmental.

What I meant, though, was that God’s definition of sex is two souls coming together to create something new. When God made Eve, he joined his soul with Adam to create her. He took Adam’s rib and from His breath formed a new being.

The beauty of that encounter is the same way we Christians need to see sex.

It is not something nasty or wrong, as long as you’re with the right person.

Now, considering my pastor’s ideas of sex, I love my pastor but I cannot believe him. If I listened to him, it would end my marriage. It is the one thing that only married couples should do, so why should we act as if it is wrong? For appearances? As long as my bedroom/bathroom/whatever room I’m in’s door can lock, no one can see me. Yes, God can but the wonderful, amazing ecstasy of it was also created by Him, why wouldn’t He want us to like it?

I won’t lie, there are times when I’m going the extra mile that I feel guilty, but the word says that his body belongs to me and my body belongs to him.

It also says that I must be submissive to him, servicing him in the way he requires. I am a woman that is intent on following the word. So whatever he requires, wherever, and however he requires it, I will give it to him.

Because he is mine and I am his and it shall remain that way.

~ Jan Crewe

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

Editor: Emily Bartran

Image: Michael Peligo/Flickr