I was blowing my nose in the shower when I realized I was saving the environment.

Seriously. Think about it. Saving tissues—I mean trees.

So I came up with other practical changes we can all make, every day, to make the world a better place.

1. Blow your nose in the shower.

2. Don’t use any deodorant—if people don’t like the stench, that’s their problem.

3. Be a clean eater. Or at least only post “clean” eating images on social media sites while eating processed favorites in deep, hidden shame.

Wait, that doesn’t actually help. Here, just look at this:

The lone pear from my mother-in-law’s tree, shared with me—and then promptly Instagrammed.

4. Don’t eat cute, defenseless animals—just the ugly ones.

5. Practice yoga—and buy lots of unnecessary, eco-friendly accessories.

6. Ride a bike—and buy lots of unnecessary, eco-friendly products.

7. Travel all over the world to talk about how we can make daily changes to help save the environment. Like reducing your carbon footprint. Or practicing yoga. Or riding a bike.

8. Subsist mainly on juice from all sorts of locally-grown, organic produce—and then throw away loads of fiber-rich by-products.

9. Buy a new Prius every couple of years.

10. Don’t flush the toilet. Even if it’s brown. Don’t flush it down.

11. Eat bananas.

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Author: Jennifer White

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Author’s own; Wikimedia