A fantastic tool on your journey toward being a better lover is to record your thoughts and fantasies in your own sex journal.

Maybe committing your dark-and-nasties to print seems a little too Anaïs Nin for you.

Trust me, keeping a log of your innermost feelings about your unique sexuality will prove to be wholly enlightening for yourself as well as any lover you choose to share it with. (Plus, it’ll be a gas to read when you’re ninety.)

Sold. How do I get started?

Choose a notebook or blank journal that makes you feel comfortable—whether it’s a plain spiral notebook or a decorative journal from a bookshop or stationary store. It doesn’t matter what the book looks like; what matters is that you connect with it and look forward to writing in it.

Remember that this is your private journal. No one will be reading the majority of your entries but you…unless you choose to share it. Be honest with yourself. The more honest you are, the more you’ll get from the entire program.

Need an idea for your first entry? Try the following.

Your Sexuality: A Personal Assessment

Set aside some quiet time to answer the following questions about your sexuality. Use as much space as you need for each.

1. What is your first sexual memory?
2. When did you first discover your own body, sexually? How did it make you feel?
3. When was your first sexual experience with another person? Was it positive? Negative? Are you indifferent? Why?
4. What was the best sexual experience you have ever had? What made it so?
5. What does “sexy” mean to you?
6. Would you say that you are a sexual person? That is, do you consider sex an important part of you life? Why or why not?
7. How satisfied are you with your current sex life?
8. What are your top three strengths as a lover?
9. What are your top three weaknesses? What do you need to turn them into strengths or eliminate them entirely?
10. What do you most want to achieve from this journal?

Now Keep It Up!

Write in this journal whenever you wish; you never know when the inspiration will strike. Here are a few topic suggestions:

• New Positions to Try (with a section for notes once you’ve tried them)
• Fantasies
• Sexual Tools
• Stories
• Poems
• Drawings
• Article Clippings
• New Ways to Communicate Sexually

As always, happy loving!

Author: Rachel Astarte

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Markus Spiske/Flickr