I had always wondered what it would be like to break away from everything I once knew. But I had to journey into how I would do it before I could truly be free.

After several years of living a life that was pre-ordained for me, running myself into the ground to keep up with the race of modern chaos, I finally did it.

I let it all go.

And for the first time in my life, I woke up.

It took every fibre of my being, every morsel of courage that coursed through my ancestral blood, to make the decision I did.

I was to become feral. Wild. Back to nature once again. My spirit was screaming to run back into the wilderness and I had to find a way to make it happen for myself.

I was about to inhale laughter and taste song. I was about to enter into the womb of nurture after years of intolerance to a world that had torn my spirit and sucked my marrow dry.

I was to inhale the heat from my own fires and breathe them back out into lyrics and sacred dance.

I had no idea at the time that I was preparing my escape, that I was about to enter into a world that would gleam nirvana.

All I knew was that I had to find a way to get out: to quietly move out of the rat race without a stir and in such a way so that I would never have to go back.

This was to be the most carefully organized and delicately handled experiment of my life.

I was about to take all the anger I had stewed in towards the conventional wheel and own it. To take full responsibility for the many decisions I had made in a world that fed into values that didn’t serve me.

And I chose to take responsibility of it and leave because I loved myself more.

And so, I began by making a list.

This was my manifesto. My reasoning to it all. My journey to freedom laid out in ink. The reasons why I needed to cut the remaining frays that connected me to the American government so that I could be free to wander into the world raw and anew.

This was my list:

Give back. Take all the sh*t you’ve gathered and sell it back to them.

Everything. Clothes, shoes, jewelry, cars, houses, books, paraphernalia. Give yourself some time to do this. It’s quality stuff. So sell it. Ebay, Amazon, car boot sales. Every dollar counts so don’t be too proud.

What doesn’t sell take to charity.

Invest in yourself. Lose the investments.

Take back your private pension savings. Your million dollar retirement fund that you’ll be cradling in your rocking chair? Get it back! If you really want to break free from it all, that money will serve you far better when you still have the energy and the will to see the world and spend it on adventures that you won’t have the physical ability to do when you’re seventy.

Feed yourself, not the stock market.

Change your Karma. Change your Bank.

If you’re going to truly travel the world, where will your money be? Is it in a place that you feel is trustworthy? Is the corporation one that you wish to support?

Is it doing good for the world while your money sits dormant for a time? There are certain banks in the world that cause more damage than good.

An alternative option: a “social bank.” They offer international loans interest-free to projects and people all over the world who need it.

Create good karma around your finances.

Detox. Disconnect.

In order to be free, I had to rid myself from my last and final “plugged-in” device, my final tie to the world I once knew: my cell phone.

Release yourself from being available 24/7 and you’ll be that much freer to roam the world on nothing but instinct and human kindness.

Tell them what they want to hear. Until they can’t hear you anymore.

Protect yourself. Telling the whole wide world that you’re flipping the bird to the government and breaking out of the sterile system won’t make it any easier.

I know your bursting to tell your truth, but until you are fully liberated (financially and otherwise) keep your poker face on until you’re off the beaten track.

~

It took all my intuition, all my courage, to snip away my old life.

I took these daring steps while clutching at my mother’s hand and with full intention and consciousness.

I unglued each component of my perfectly-constructed life carefully and gently.

I write this piece (a year later) as a true nomad, with a heart as open and wild as the howling wolves of Clarissa Estes’ masterpiece. Never have I been more sure of my decision to break free.

It was what I had to do to start again on my truth-seeking journey: to go out into the world belonging to no one but myself; to crack apart the iron shackles, pick up my candle and wander into the unknown—into the wild—so that I could finally be free.

~

Author: Tara Minshull

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Author’s Own