If a woman has a right to expose her body, she should also have the right to conceal it.

As the U.S. Supreme Court rules in favor of Samantha Elauf against Abercrombie & Fitch refusing her a job for wearing a hijab, I can only say that I suddenly felt that maybe we are moving one step forward as socially responsible people and that justice was served. It sends a message to all hijabis who struggle with these choices in the work place. There are many of us.

As a Muslim I have a difficult time staying true to who I am. There have been many times where I have questioned my choice to remove my hijab. I promise, it’s never an easy decision. As I meet potential clients, thoughts go through my mind like: “What will they think? Will they decide on the merits of my hijab?”

Wearing a hijab is wearing my choice of humility. In my modesty I am judged. But, as I expose my skin, my hair and my body art—I am praised. As I drive down the road in this military town, I question and allow it to slide slowly off my head. I know the repercussions. I know the looks I’ll get and the feeling of having to explain my hijab choices to employers.

I know I’ll have to explain why I do not shake a man’s hand or why I cover my arms, legs and hair in the summertime. I’ve endured the looks, the smirks, the nasty comments, name calling and even the threats. I have endured humiliation and abuse by law enforcement as a Muslim. Why would I not feel afraid to expose, or better yet, to conceal my hair?

Last Ramadan an attorney asked me to remove my hijab before court. He called it “that thing.” He was concerned a judge would rule against me, even though I was the victim, because of my choice. I had a decision to make.

I discussed it with my fellow Muslim sisters and chose to walk into the court room in hijab.

It wasn’t to make a point. It was to try to stay true to myself. I watched as my attorney rolled his eyes and sighed. I was afraid to look beyond his expression. I only looked at the judge. He didn’t question or flinch. He was respectful and made no note or recognition that I was anything but another witness before him. Sometimes that is all I want. The choice to be. I shouldn’t care what others think. I shouldn’t have to live afraid to make that choice or feel that my job depends on it any more than it should depend on the colour skin or my gender. But, I am.

Samantha Elauf is courageous. She is courageous not only for wearing her hijab and for standing by her faith, but also for having the strength of character to stand before a high court and for our beliefs. She does that not only for herself, but for all Muslimahs/Hijabis like myself who are afraid to walk down the street, to apply for a job or live in the world for fear of recriminations and retribution for daring to be modest.

As Ramadan approaches, this victory is ever more significant. I struggle every year. Ramadan is the time of year I try to be unafraid. I don my hijab in public once again, trying to remember why I chose to wear it. Because make no mistake: wearing a hijab is a choice.

And with that choice I’ll do all the things I am afraid to do: I leave my house. I meet clients and I walk into a classroom or courtroom. I don’t want to be praised for it. I don’t want to be ignored for it. I don’t want to be overlooked for it. I want to be accepted regardless of my choice.

I can say that choosing hijab doesn’t make me feel oppressed. It doesn’t make me feel inferior. I feel more oppressed fearing to wear it, than to don it.

Religious choices should not have to be a factor in whether I get a job. My hijab should have no bearing on my qualifications. If anything, it should show that I have integrity and strength of character.

I applaud Samantha’s courage for standing up for her rights—and mine.

~

Author: A.N. Bayat

Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: Hernan Pinera/Flickr