Realisation. The first step.

Realisation. The first step.

To acknowledge that I’ve struggled with anxiety and chronic worry since I can recall I suppose is the first step. So, here it is…” I acknowledge my anxiety based fear and worry”. But, why has it taken me so long? Is it ok to say “it’s ok not to be ok? Actually yes, yes, it is. So many of us are unhappy and are seemingly expected to have ‘life figured out’, to handle the pressures and pretend that we’re ok and that we’ve ‘got it together’ when actually if we were really honest we haven’t, not really. Is this really just an anxiety induced smoke screen created by the relentless pressure that we impose on ourselves? Or, is it the expectations and demands that society places upon us to perform like happy humans? Only that, that is higher than us knows our true direction, our calling, our purpose and our inner-most thoughts and oneness with ourselves and the universe.

I’ve picked up many self-help books that promise to ‘change my direction’, offer me ‘hope’ and the tools to enable and encourage me to shift my negative thoughts and have a ‘better life’. Whilst many words resonate, can anyone really understand how I feel? Is there really someone out there that understands the crippling fear and anxiety and won’t judge me? Is the right source there to reach out with light, kindness and catch me when I fall, when I fail and offer me hope and comfort when I feel hopeless and lost? When doubt and hopelessness creeps in, it suffocates my spirit and suppresses my desire to regain control…what’s the point? Fear tells me I can’t. Old anxieties park obstacles in my way and once again I have chosen fear and anxiety and I am detoured from my journey.

It is what we focus our energy on that truly manifests and exasperates our symptoms of conflict and fear in our daily lives. It is this obstacle that detours us from the path and the direction that we’re meant to take. Don’t show weakness, smile, ‘be positive’, say “yes I’m good thanks”. Why is it not ok to say, ‘I’m not ok and I find life hard”? So today, I’m going to say it, “I’m not ok today and I find life hard” and that’s ok.

Waking up every day should be a gift, it is a gift from that, that is higher than us. However, only when the mind is free from anxiety, worry and depression can we really embrace our reality and our purpose. Whilst it would appear that saying you have anxiety and depression appears to be more ‘acceptable today’, is it really? Do people really understand? Does the acknowledgement, a nod of the head, a friendly embrace, the offering of a Kleenex really cut it, and can we really say the offerings of empathy were what we truly needed? When people look at you with the best of intentions and the belief that they truly understand when they say, “cheer up, look at what you have to live for, you’ll get through it, it’ll get easier”, more often than not makes us feel worse and un-recognised. I now choose to recognise my reality and challenge the obstacles in my way.

My inner spiritual intuition that I have pushed aside for years, strengthens day by day and will help me to see beyond my limits and expand my horizons. I choose life, love and most importantly I will hold the hand that the universe offers me, the hand that has always been there. Happiness is mine for the taking and it is time to be fearless and free.

So, here starts my new journey to recognise a power greater than myself and transform anxiety based fear and worry in to inner faith, and inner-peace in to love and well-being.

Sending light to all that this may reach.

I am, the one behind the worry.

https://www.facebook.com/theonebehindtheworry/

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