We don’t need to avoid. We don’t need to pretend.
It takes nothing to “manifest positivity,” if only we realize we are fundamentally, naturally positive–it doesn’t have to be hyped up.
From a Buddhist pov, we’re all basically good–we can afford to relax. We can’t afford to ignore the “bad” or the challenging. We can afford be open and feel, feel empathy, feel suffering, feel a broken-hearted–then, we may feel real joy, and be able to serve the world to be of benefit:
Dear Mindful Lifers,
Sometimes “Good Vibes Only” doesn’t cut it.
Sometimes expressing yourself when it’s hard and you’re angry or afraid or uptight or awkward is the best time to express yourself because it’s the only time. Sometimes suppressing what you have to share isn’t gonna help.
Other times, walking away and getting some air and taking in the trees and stream and ocean and clouds and getting off your phone and laptop will give you the space you need to communicate the hard things.
But sometimes half-way is better than nothing. Sometimes messy complicated ugly arguments pave a way to breakthroughs.
Just remember to listen, and to care less about being Right than finding the truth. And remember to laugh at yourself.
Because our days are long, and we’re tired, and sometimes it’s too easy to be cranky.
From Chögyam Trungpa, my parents’ Buddhist teacher:
“Conquering fear is not based on blocking your sensitivity. Otherwise, you become a deaf and dumb monarch, a jellyfish king. Sitting on a horse requires balance, and as you acquire that balance in the saddle, you have more awareness of the horse. So when you sit in the saddle on your fickle horse, you feel completely exposed and gentle. If you feel aggressive, you don’t have a good seat. In fact, you are probably not even riding the horse. You don’t put your saddle on a fence railing. You have to saddle a real horse. In this case, riding the horse is riding somebody else’s mind. It requires a complete connection. In the Buddhist tradition, this is called compassion, or working with somebody else. You are completely exposed in this situation. Otherwise, it’s like a medieval knight encased in his armor. It’s so heavy that he has to be cranked up onto the horse. Then he rides off to battle and usually falls off. There’s something wrong with that technology.”
~ From Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery, By Chogyam Trungpa
Bonus, a few recent conversations with heroes of mine:
“Club Yoga: are we here to be cool, or to serve?
Yoga as club defeats the purpose. We as a community have a choice: we can fight over where to sit on the Titanic (climate change, inequity) or Save the World (and have a good time doing so). We have the choice to “pop” external clubbiness, just as our practice helps us to learn to make friends with our internal egos & insecurity. How can our yoga community stop our occasional silliness, and—perhaps more than any other community—be of (joyful) benefit to a world full of real suffering?” ~ Waylon Lewis
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Thank you, exactly what I needed at this point in time.
So so true. I’m used to keeping thoughts/opinions quiet. Then they slowly build. Having a chronic illness on exasperates this. I get physically exhausted and something random sets me off and I “debate” for what seems like out of nowhere, and probably off topic. It just becomes a spillway of everything I’ve been holding back. This is why I need a pen pal. Ha. Great point!