I wrote this after a particularly challenging morning that involved angry, heated words from my lover. It provided me the opportunity to explore the meaningfulness of words and my reaction to ones said in anger. I tend to be controlled with my words, but my partner tends to let them fly and once he does so, they are gone for him – not important. I am quite the opposite and those words sink into my consciousness seemingly forever. This piece helped me find some balance and compassion and opened up a good discussion for how words really matter.
Words roll out so easily, but once released they can be cemented in the ether forever.
Perhaps forgiven, but not forgotten.
Each word a stinging slap. The kind that leaves a red, lingering welt across my soul; bruised by those tiny words you claim insignificant.
Your words don’t matter?
Because I hold them dear as tiny fragments of your heart and soul, now intermingled with mine. I will serve them back to you softly, wrapped in love and compassion rather than wound you with my own tiny daggers.
How do I know which words to trust?
Words matter.
If your words emblazoned with venom and anger are meaningless, what are the ones dripping and engorged with love and sweetness?
I know the depths of your roots and the heartiness of their stalk. I know that every landscape needs weeding from time to time to flourish.
Growth blooms from what once seemed impenetrable and barren, there is a softening.
– Sugar
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I understand. Hurtful words hurt my soul. I always forgive and I don’t hold grudges but it’s hard to forget completely. I’m working on letting it go. What you posted was beautiful! It’s good to know I’m not the only one
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I think in sharing these experiences we can find more connection and more compassion both for ourselves and others. Words can be hurtful and this taught me a lot more about being conscious of mine. It is so easy to return hurtful words with more of the same, but to find a softness, despite being very challenging at times, creates more space to heal and grow. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment. Many blessings to you.
Beautiful piece?
Opps with the question mark. This is most certainly a beautiful piece.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!
I appreciate you sharing a private part of your world. Im hoping to feel inspired to write in my own journal ✨
I have writing to be an incredible release and tool for growth for me. I would encourage you to follow that inspiration and dive in! Sometimes even jotting down a few thoughts can make such a difference. Thank you for your kind words!
I’m not a physically aggressive person, but when I’m hurting inside, my words can and have been pure poison. I grew up with older brothers , whomever was the loudest and most verbally adaptive ,”won”..as an adult when I argue w my guy, I see words and phrases mean enough to put him in tears.
I’ve gone to anger management once ,7 day course ,I currently am working with a counselor to work on my resentment,anger and just plain hurt living inside me..I want him or the other person to hurt as intensely as I’m hurting..its horrible to know this behavior lives in me , it’s caused tremendous trust issues, and isn’t healthy in anyway,shape or form..
It’s truly an eye opening article and it encourages,me to continue to keep growing and to keep moving forward , I’m a work in progress, and I’ve changed positively in spook many ways n have learned self healing techniques, to speak and communicate peacefully and still get the end result I was wanting..not selfishly, feel me ..hope y’all do.
Thanks for listening and I sooo appreciate the openness in a non judgemental forum , safe place to share some of my thoughts on this.
I’m not a physically aggressive person, but when I’m hurting inside, my words can and have been pure poison. I grew up with older brothers , whomever was the loudest and most verbally adaptive ,”won”..as an adult when I argue w my guy, I see words and phrases mean enough to put him in tears.
I’ve gone to anger management once ,7 day course ,I currently am working with a counselor to work on my resentment,anger and just plain hurt living inside me..I want him or the other person to hurt as intensely as I’m hurting..its horrible to know this behavior lives in me , it’s caused tremendous trust issues, and isn’t healthy in anyway,shape or form..
It’s truly an eye opening article and it encourages,me to continue to keep growing and to keep moving forward , I’m a work in progress, and I’ve changed positively in soooo many ways n have learned self healing techniques, to speak and communicate peacefully and still get the end result I was wanting..not selfishly, feel me ..hope y’all do.
Thanks for listening and I sooo appreciate the openness in a non judgemental forum , safe place to share some of my thoughts on this.
Thank you so much for sharing so openly – you are brave! I appreciate your authenticity! I have been in a place where I used my words to wound others and knew they would do so – I also realized that I used the same hurtful words with myself. It didn’t serve me. I worked on finding some tools that helped me – taking a pause has been the most helpful for me. Silence over seething words found a solid place within me. I commend you for your awareness and your willingness to look at the tough parts within you – that is real work! It sounds like you are on a wonderful path of self-discovery. Thank you so much for your openness and heartfelt sharing. I am grateful. <3
Sugar
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts with your well words! It made a connection that my soul needed deepky,
Thank you so much! I think that through openness and discussion we can all find more connection. I am grateful for your response!
Words DO matter.
I believe someone can be a straight shooter yet still speak kindly. Tactlessness has kind of always been my trademark and I’m always crushed when something I’ve said has hurt someone I care about. I appreciate it when they are courageous enough to tell me directly, “what you said was hurtful to me.” It makes me hurt, but also makes me stop and THINK before I just start shooting off my mouth the next time.
I used to say “People are way too sensitive.” But more and more I appreciate people for ALL they are.
I have a tendency toward strong, but true words. The kind that hurt now, later, and even later than that. Those were also they kind of words I told myself….I have found that it doesn’t serve me. I don’t want the imprint I leave on someone to hurt – even if I am – regardless of how true what I might be saying may be. I have found that the more I am able to soften myself, the more I am able to find compassion and space for others. Also, on a receiving level it’s hard for me to put a lot of weight on people’s words if they don’t themselves. When someone tells me that a bunch of things they said have no meaning then it leaves me wondering how much meaning the rest of their words have. I believe it’s important to be conscious of our words in all directions. Thank you so much for your careful reading and response. I am grateful for this discussion!
So well written! So worth reading! So worth applying!
Such kind words! Thank you so much for your time and energy!!
I never thought of it this way. Thank you for such a clear perspective. Loving words don’t make angry words go away. We have to accept that both are true representations in order to get a clear picture of who we are dealing with.
Thank you for your very careful reading and your thoughtful response! This is something I struggle with since I don’t know how to make some words count, but not others. Words are so important to me. Through this I have come to realize that I also cannot put my weight of words on anyone else – all I can do is express my thoughts and want for conscious communication. At a minimum, this has cultivated a more careful quality about my own use of words. I am glad you found something in my writing too!
Great topic! Everyone can relate to this, I think.
My wife and I agreed long ago that no matter how heated our fights, we would never curse each other or call each other names. Its amazing how it helps keep the inevitable battles cooler.
That is such a wonderful practice you have! I imagine it keeps heated moments cooler for sure and likely more grounded in what the actual issue is rather than impulsive reactions. Thank you for sharing! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
I love you and your heartfelt words. Thank you for your humble share❣️
Such sweet words! They touch my heart! Thank you!
The more we practice mindfulness the more time we will take to ponder and say what we truly mean. It’s not easy. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you kindly for cultivating that with your kind comment(s) and for taking the time to read and consider. So much gratitude. <3
I particularly liked this part: “If your words emblazoned with venom and anger are meaningless, what are the ones dripping and engorged with love and sweetness?” Are they meaningless and total bullshit as well? How does one know? How does one get the secret squirrel decoder ring? I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall if you truly challenged your other half in this manner and watched the back pedelling…
One of the best things about being an empath and a creator is the opportunity to alchemize these unsavory moments in life. Not only did you turn your hurt into art, you used it as a tool to force open the door to our deepest darkest heart rooms, shining a light on some dusty truths that most of us would rather ignore in order to wallow in anger. your light is igniting growth~
One of the best things about being an empath and a creator is the opportunity to alchemize these unsavory moments in life. Not only did you turn your hurt into art, you used it as a tool to force open the door to our deepest darkest heart rooms, shining a light on some dusty truths that most of us would rather ignore in order to wallow in anger. your light is igniting growth~
Your words are just beautiful – illuminating the spaces and crevices in our words and hearts that are often our greatest teachers. Thank you so much for sharing your sweetness. I appreciate you so much. If you write (I am guessing you do) I would love to read more!! Many thanks and many blessings!
“Words matter.
If your words emblazoned with venom and anger are meaningless, what are the ones dripping and engorged with love and sweetness?” I especially enjoyed this part…so thoughtful & insightful to challenge someone someone trying to dismiss the negative words…but so true & makes you wonder if the sweet ones should be summarily dismissed as well?
Yes! This is exactly the crux of my position – how can some words matter so little and then conversely, others matter so much? Where is the balance? Better yet, how or where can we find the balance? I think that’s the work, the communication, the compassion – to find the balance to allow space for fleeting emotions, but also for the deeply grown roots of unconditional love.
I live how i am reminded of our different tempermants. And if being consciencess of how each other is different. Thanks for dharing. I live your posts❤️
Yes! I think through the recognition, understanding and appreciating those differences can create greater compassion and more space for communication and growth.