Who am I and what do I do?

Well, my name is Ruby. As for who I am, I am still figuring that out. As for what I do, well, I listen. I listen to that little voice that urges me to take the next step. I call it the Soul Whisper. You know what I am talking about. It’s also known as intuition or gut instinct.

I have always had an innate curiosity about anything and everything. I observe, contemplate and question. It is these gifts that have enhanced my willingness to listen and trust that whisper.

There was no one in my family that was crafty or studied herbs and gardened. No one encouraged questions or speculations, especially if it seemed in opposition to the norm. Yet, everywhere I looked there were always sign posts and nudges pointing me to see things a little differently. Those whispers that had me longing to play in a garden, make things with my hands, observe and wonder about the motion of life. I would always notice that the rules, the ones generally accepted by society, simply didn’t apply to most of life. The signs were everywhere for me. So, then I would wonder, were there really any such rules to the governing forces of life? Yes, with listening comes contemplation!

It was this innate curiosity and all those small subtle signs that kept pushing me to venture down the path of energy. I have always had that constant voice just under the surface that keeps beckoning. A push to move, buy a wand, take a class, or to put pen to paper. Whatever the call, I listened.

The cumulation of all of those has brought me here doing all the things I do, and all the while, not really knowing what the heck I am doing! Trust the process, is the only really clear answer I ever get.

Before learning Reiki, I had done one two hour class on crystals and an intuitive class. That’s it. I was ever so green, but everywhere I went I was beginning to have people and information crossing my path that would ignite my curiosity. Reiki, it would seem, was pulling at me hard. At the time I had no idea what this ‘Reiki’ was. I didn’t know why I had to take it, I only knew that I had to. So, I listened. I did question and doubt myself profusely, but  trusted that, for a reason I wasn’t to know yet, I had to do this. Even after I received my Master Level,  my egoic brain was still trying to comprehend it all. I felt so dumb, for lack of a better word. I had all this information coming in tidal waves and no idea what the heck I was doing or why, but I kept listening.

Listening to your instinct isn’t all rainbows and butterflies even with, or especially with, spirituality. On many levels it can be brutal. I found I was always in various states of confusion. Whatever sanity I thought I had, was flying away. Just when I thought I was grasping some concept, another variable would enter and I would be even more confused than before. That inner voice kept talking, I kept listening and information kept coming. Different friends, tools, skills and courses came and went through my space and awareness. Each ending and beginning forced me to look in the mirror and observe myself and ask the tough questions. Somehow I knew that before I could ever consider working on anyone, I had to work on myself first. Like everyone, I have shadows. Spaces tucked away from visible light, but I have always thought that it is the running that causes the suffering. Slowly but surely, I went to work. Then it became clear. Reiki isn’t something you do like making soap, it is a way of life. Contemplate, ruminate and listen and work. Every shadow I loved into awareness, every different energy practice that would come my way, the odd collection of tools, and skills that I had been stashing away, started to show me why I needed them. All the while, I could feel that same pushing undercurrent forming, whispering. It took me five years after I had received my Masters in Reiki before I got the call to practice. I spontaneously asked a friend if I could do Reiki on her.  Bless my friend, she said yes! And that was it. A month later I had a massage table and a space to practice both Energy work and my body care line.

The tides of my life experiences have not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t know of many that have had it easy. I am unable to pinpoint a specific time where I could for sure say that spirituality illuminated my path. It has been a culmination of many different sparks of light and my following, that has led me here. Listening is the foundation in which all else in my life is built from, and Reiki has helped me shape it. As I continue to learn, question and listen, my practice continues to evolve. Reiki is imbued in everything I do, from soaps and lotions, to herbs, music, writing and all in my everyday life.

That’s how I live my life. I follow these whispers, or bread crumbs on the path of life, answering the call and trusting, for it hasn’t been wrong yet. It was listening that got me out of a bad situation at sixteen. Listening that had me move from a city to a tiny rural town eight hours away, by myself  at twenty three. It was listening to that trusted voice that has led me to music, soaps, herbs, energy work, writing and all those wonderful things intertwined that make my life.

So, who am I and what do I do? I am Ruby and I Listen.